Speaking Peace: Connecting With Others Through Non-Violent Communication

I've listen to the cd once, and plan to again. Very informative. I currently train/teach foster parents and I plan on incorporating some of this in my lessons. The world would be a better place if we could all engage in this way of communication. I've shared this with my son, a Capt. in the Army going back to Iraq for the second time -- he also recommends.

I completely agree with Marshall's views on schools and punitive actions on individuals and nations. Right from Colonial empire to recent Lebanon - Isreal conflict, the non-violent movements takes a back seat. The selective amnesia in heads of states when comes to war, has thought a good lesson to many states. His views on winning with kind and love, as I have heard situations happened in India, should be replicated all over the world to have losting peace and prosperty to humanity. That is the only way to improve humanity and this books has consolilated opinions on many views. We are far of from getting what Gandhi and Marshal dreams of world, and moreover I am more skeptic would the world ever reach there? However, there is a little hope.

As a graduate of WEAVE (Women Escaping a Violent Environment -actually for men, women, children, & elders, but PEAVE as an
acronym for "People Escaping...." just didn't have the
right connotation) I had learned not only about generational violence and why people become abusive, disrespectful or violent,
but also how to "hear" my own feelings, and warning signals, speak up for them, and ask clearly for what I wanted. This alone was a tremendous win. However, I noticed in practice that when I did so, it was the unusual person who would automatically respond in kind and tell me what they were feeling or wanted. Gradually I felt awkward and unsatisfied, but couldn't really identify what was missing.

Non-Violent Communication offers what was missing: connection and communion. Even though formerly considering myself intuitive, learning to listen to others empathically, below differing opinions, facts and values to the heart of the person, their human needs, was extremely challenging, even frightening - doubtless due to former abuse - but when the breakthrough came, it was extraordinary!! My parents argued very disrespectfully and loudly to solve differences or problems; I overcompensated by appearing to not have any, and then avoiding the situation or person. You can understand how alienating this is, how disconnecting and de-humanizing. I'm very glad to have made the effort to learn this with one or two willing and safe friends, as now it is easier to apply in more difficult situations, for instance, with my family.

This CD set is a wonderful introduction and overview, filled with somefunny, some amazing anecdotes. Dr. Rosenberg has a very soothing voice, a dry sense of humour, and surprisingly, rather pleasing little songs. (At first I thought "Oh, no; this is going to be hokey - but it wasn't. Now in odd moments, I find myself singing "See Me Beautiful"like the school kids!)

Disc One is an introduction to NVC, how discovering why some people use violence and abuse to gain their way, and why others
retain their humanity and consideration was Dr. Rosenberg's deep
purpose in life. He goes on to show real life basics and how to apply NVC personally.

On disc two, NVC is shown in international, social and justice
situations. In one instance of a child molester, my mouth hung opened and I stood stock still for a few minutes listening to how Dr. Rosenberg helped the prisoner discover how terrorizing
children had filled a profound and deeply hidden need for him. The next step is actually a lot easier, which is to gently assist him to getting his needs met and those of the community
in less costly ways. Before getting the facts about who ends up in prison and who is statistically executed, my opinion was that there are certain violent crimes- murder, rape and child molestation - that did deserve the death penalty. It's pretty easy to get very angry about the crime and not see the criminal
as a human being, or coversely go the other way and feel terribly sorry for them, put them in prison, and walk away. But he, Dr. Rosenberg was there, and did do this with this guy, and it did work. It's pretty staggering, and pretty profound, if we
could eventually change our justice system from punitive to
restorative. To me, it's even more profound, more direct, and
more applicable (though maybe no easier) than forgiving one's
enemies, and turning the other cheek.

Well, see for yourself! I'll bet something on this CD will affect everyone who listens to it in a profound way. Highly recommended as a first step. If you like it, then you can get
the book, and start practicing with a good friend!

IF you don't have time to read, ride in the car a lot and could use some practical advice with communications in any area in your life, this is a fantastic CD to sit with during those longer car rides. I enjoyed his calm voice, found it energizing, while my boyfriend found it a little lullabying. The information is fantastic. If you have kids, a partner, friends, a family, a boss, or employees this CD is invaluable.

Here's just one of them:

Many years ago I read "Don't Shoot the Dog!" with an
eye towards training humans using rewards instead of
punishment. Positive reinforcement sounded good, but
something about it made me suspect it wouldn't work for
people. "Speaking Peace" gave me the answer: People
don't like to be manipulated; rewards and punishments
are both methods of manipulation, so people eventually
rebel.