The Art of Conversation: A Guided Tour of a Neglected Pleasure

I am very happy to have found this book. Although some who are already expert conversationalists may not need what this book teaches, I certainly do. Another author writes about the "Curse of Knowledge," which comes about when one knows a subject so well that it becomes extremely difficult to understand what it is like for those not so accomplished. It becomes nearly impossible for the person so afflicted to teach to neophytes. Teaching and learning are both cut off. As one of the lesser beings in the art of conversation (perhaps at the lowest rung), I see that Catherine Blyth has the great knowledge and does not suffer from the curse. She understands what makes for great conversation, what gets in the way, and why some of us find it so difficult.

To the extent that any one-way expression medium such as a book (or speech, or performance) can approximate two-way conversation, I believe Ms. Blyth does it well in her book. It is as if she has asked me and listened about why conversation is so difficult for me, and then offers guidance while seemingly still listening. In certain professions, predictability, processes, inputs/outputs, response times, efficiency, and flow rates rule our interrelationships with people, machines, and systems comprising both. We study and practice these modes of communication and become very good at it. But of course machines are not people and people are not machines. An interaction between people need not have a direct or "practical" purpose. But the indirect result can have immense practical value, as the rise of professional and social networking proves.

So, while we can study intricate and well-defined protocols used within systems of math, science, engineering, medicine, and law, some of us have lost the art and benefit of human conversation. Some of us actively avoid it. Ms. Blyth shows us how to get back into the game.

The book is delightfully unpredictable, as is life and conversation. That makes it even more enjoyable and effective. Perhaps some lessons are repeated. If so then they appear in different clothes and in different contexts that help refine the lesson and thus make it stick. I loved the references to ancient and modern masters. Yet, one size does not fit all. We have to find our own way and style. Life is not formulaic. You have to think. The book provides inspiration, guidelines, and encouragement to engage; and then to practice.

In her Acknowledgments, Ms. Blyth writes that, "studying conversation can feel like chasing butterflies." Yes! Have any of us not chased butterflies with another as children? Was that activity driven by some production quota? As with other arts, conversation can have practical purpose, or just create a bond among human beings. The Art of Conversation supports both, and helps those of us who have become too much like machines.

If you are looking for some practical advice on how to improve your conversational skills, you will not find it here. Blyth uses this book to show off with what she believes are witty literary flourishes, sprinkled with obscure references. She sneers at wallflowers and others who could reasonably be the target audience of such a book. If you are impressed by television commercials that use a British accent to imply a higher IQ, you might enjoy this. Otherwise avoid.

A terrific quick read to help in the lost "art" of good talk. Turn off the tv or turn away from the WWW for a few minutes and you'll be glad you turned the pages of this one.

The book makes the reader aware of mistakes he may not know he's making. It made me wonder if I'm listening when someone's speaking and if someone is listening when I'm speaking. It gave me ideas of how to react to comments I may not like or agree with, and most of all, it delighted me to read her humorous and ironic observations of conversations.

You're probably reading this review because the digital peripherals of the internet (matrix) have brought us together. This is a good thing and a bad thing. One bad thing is that the internet and other technology have gotten so good at things that we are getting so bad at basic things. Did you go home as a kid and talk to your friends on AIM instead of playing baseball in the sandlot? Well you probably could use this a bit to spruce up your basics on communication. Just don't read it on your iphone please!
About the language used in the book:
Yes she is British so it can be difficult to read at time, but the benefits of reading this far outweigh the silly cons.
Buy this book used for $3 and improve or "change" your life.