Talking from 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work

I got this book very fast and in perfect condition. The seller is great and I will purchase more books from the store.

I don't remember how this got onto my book shelves, but there it was when I was looking for something to read.

Wish I'd read it years ago. When I think back to the times in my work life when I had difficulty, it was never because I couldn't accomplish a technical task. No, it was because I couldn't communicate effectively with a co-worker or boss. (Sometimes my being a knucklehead didn't help either.)

The book is written, I think it's fair to say, for the benefit of women, but it works as a good guide for men, too, on how we Americans talk at work. (Americans because, as I learned from the book, other cultures -- the Japanese, especially -- talk very differently than we do.)

The author is a college professor and linguist, and sometimes quotes more research studies than we need to know about. Sometimes you'll wish an editor had convinced her to cut to the chase, or not make that particular argument at all.

But if you're a woman in the work force, or have a loved one who is, or are a male working with women, I think you'll find this book interesting and valuable. You might, as I did, start listening to conversations at work in a different way, almost as a linguist would.

One chapter, "Marked: Women in the Workplace," is an eye-opening tour de force. It makes me marvel even more at those isolated examples of successful women in the Fortune 500, and what barriers they overcame to achieve the top rungs.

This is one of those books that's like your first pair of glasses, letting you see more clearly the reality that had, unknowingly, been a blur.

Book talks in perspective of Victorian Women.. tries hard to explain why 'She' talks the way she talks. Men are discussed too, but just as formal expression.

Book is full of biased towards how and why women are hesitant one (and theory is expanded to men too).

Not really focused on any guidance..

In seminars, I often ask "How many here have had a conversation with someone of the opposite gender that didn't go quite the way you thought it would?" After all the hands are up, I explain that I'll draw on two very different but extremely helpful authors, John Gray and Deborah Tannen, to help folks sort this gender communication puzzle out. This is a fundamental, research-based, solid explanation of the ways in which the genders in the US workplace differ in their communication styles. It sheds a blindingly bright light on previously unexamined habits, and on rituals all too often taken for granted. There's no judgement here, just much-needed explanation, complete with illustrative interview excerpts and anecdotes. In the spirit of early intervention, bringing this information to the next generation, I included "Understanding girl talk and guy talk" in Letters to My Granddaughters; Insights and inspiration for a life journey

As someone who is just about to enter the competitive workforce after completing undergraduate studies, I think this book is the most valuable tool someone can have in order to be successful. In our society, hard work must also be paired with a little luck and being "in" with the right people, and this book will be your sense of luck. Tannen explores precisely how communication styles between men and women differ, and how those styles impact a person's impression to colleagues. Women are socialized to be emotionally sensitive, indirect, and empathetic. Men, well, are not. This directness is key to excelling in the workplace and no, it will not make women appear "bitchy" or too aggressive. While Tannen does not give a how-to guide on correcting these flaws in communication, having awareness can be enough to fix them.

For example, if a new employee is typing something for her boss which he incorrectly dictated, she would say sorry when he discovered the mistake. But, she is not really apologizing as it was not her fault, but she is rather saying, I am sorry about the mistake and that it needs to be redone. This acceptance of blame puts her in a subordinate position, and while one little situation is not a big deal, continual behaviors like that will harm the woman's chance of promotion, at least in her bosses eyes. Basically, this book would be absolutely beneficial to a women in any position in the workforce, and highly recommended for any man who works with at least one woman. The only problem with the book was the repetition and length. I think the overall points will still be as apparent even if you skim over a few chapters.

- Rebecca K.