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Thread: A short storry

  1. #1
    D.Alex is offline Newbie
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    Default A short storry

    I'll certainly remember that day all my life. I’ve been planing for weeks a date with the sweetest girl from school and that day was the moment of succes, he accepted my invitation to the a famous and romantic restaurant. Last night before the date, I didn’t close my eyes, I just thought about what's going to happen. After a waking night I was very excited and happy that finally the long awaited moment had come. I went to the restaurant to wait her and when she arrived we sat at the table and ordered the house specialty. There were some really great moments until the waiter came with the bill. I was shocked when I saw that I had forgotten my wallet at home.The girl had to pay and she got mad at me.I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

    Please, correct it and give me some suggestions to replace some words like great moments ; very excited and happy ; the moment of succes.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Gillnetter is offline Key Member
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    Default Re: A short storry

    Quote Originally Posted by D.Alex View Post
    I'll certainly remember that day all my life. I’ve been planing planning for weeks a date with the sweetest girl from school and that day was the moment of succes success, he she accepted my invitation to the a famous and romantic restaurant.
    I had been planning a date with the sweetest girl from school for weeks and that day I had success, she had accepted my invitation to a famous and romantic restaurant.

    Last The night before the date, I didn’t close my eyes, I just thought about what's what was going to happen. After a waking sleepless night I was very excited and happy that finally the long awaited moment had come. I went to the restaurant to wait for her and when she arrived we sat at the table and ordered the house specialty. There were some really great moments until the waiter came with the bill. I was shocked when I saw that I had forgotten my wallet at home. The girl had to pay and she got mad at me. I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

    Please, correct it and give me some suggestions to replace some words like great moments ; very excited and happy (elated) ; the moment of succes.

    Thank you.
    The moment of success is just that, a moment. It is not an event that happens all day. The rest of it reads pretty well.

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