Is this really a good literary work?

River Itchen

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2023
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
The one who wrote the following sketch claims that his mastery of English is better than most of the native speakers of English, like Hemingway, David Hawkes. He is only second to Jane Austen and Charles Dickens. Not a native speaker of English, I don't know whether this piece of writing sounds natural to native speakers, and whether his phrasing is native-like. The author's name is "Nicholas 冰原贵公子", and the link is https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/U707T25rce9_xwHnwhch6g. Can any native speakers please take a look at the text below?


On a narrow street like a passageway with silver street-lights all along illuminating it, forming a silver thread fringing it, which was composed of either straight or curvy stretches leading to no visible end, a driverless crimson car which was so prominently seen from a distance was bowling for its temporary destination where from the car shambled out an elderly man with another man much younger walking slowly in his wake so that the latter could keep pace with the former. Without bidding farewell to the vehicle, in the direction of so close a place of a short building, save which it was in pitch-darkness, the two men were walking. The building dimly illuminated was as if welcoming every visitor of the late night and had it had a pair of hands, it would've already reached out to give each visitor a warm welcome of an embrace. The elderly man walked more and more slowly with each pace and spurned the help of the other to make his pace faster. Quite a few moments later, they entered the building whose inside was also dimly illuminated weirdly by luminous paint on the walls all around. Gradually, spread into their ears were people's sounds of incessant groans and moans; whimpers and sobs; cries and complaints, which should've frightened the two new visitors; regardless of which, they inched upstairs on a superannuated flight of wooden steps to the first floor as creaks did not draw to an end until they were off the flight and the situation there was even worse than that of the ground floor. The elderly man took a seat as if he was summoned by such an inanimate item and the other had to take a seat right next to his. A plastic bottle which resembled a dead man's head stuck out an extremely long and thin tongue from its head and once the tip of it touched a veinous hand of this senior man, he turned motionless and half-asleep.
 
Last edited:

probus

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 7, 2011
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Canada
Current Location
Canada
Hello @River Itchen and welcome to the forum. Whenever you quote the words of others you must provide the source and the name of the author. These are legal requirements that we all must follow.
 

River Itchen

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2023
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
Hello @River Itchen and welcome to the forum. Whenever you quote the words of others you must provide the source and the name of the author. These are legal requirements that we all must follow.
Ok, thank you for your notice! I have edited the author's name and the link into the thread.
 

Piscean

Senior Member
Joined
Jul 12, 2015
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
Europe
Current Location
Czech Republic
The one who wrote the following sketch claims that his mastery of English is better than most of the native speakers of English, like Hemingway, David Hawkes. He is only second to Jane Austen and Charles Dickens.
He is wrong.
 

jutfrank

VIP Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2014
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
England
Current Location
England
He is only second to Jane Austen and Charles Dickens..

That would make him third.

But he's not that good. I'd put him in fourth or fifth.
 

Tarheel

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
@jutfrank You must be joking. Who is he better than? (There's a word for that kind of prose, but I can't think of it right now )
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
@River Itchen Does the text sound good and natural in the original Chinese? I suspect the problem lies in some sort of translation tool having been used to render the English version. It's truly dreadful (and full of errors).
 

River Itchen

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2023
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
@River Itchen Does the text sound good and natural in the original Chinese? I suspect the problem lies in some sort of translation tool having been used to render the English version. It's truly dreadful (and full of errors).
Can you please tell me the errors of his text. I cannot find out the errors because my English is not good enough. I almost believe he outdoes 99% native speakers of English in English writing, and I even planned to learn from him to improve my English.
 
Last edited:

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
Before I start pointing out errors in someone else's work, please answer my question about whether it's well-written in Chinese or not.
 

River Itchen

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2023
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
Before I start pointing out errors in someone else's work, please answer my question about whether it's well-written in Chinese or not.
It was written in English, not a translation from Chinese.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
It was written in English, not a translation translated from Chinese.
I'm really surprised about that. So the link you gave in post #1 was to a Chinese translation of what was originally English text?

In all honesty, I don't think correcting all the errors in that piece is a good use of my (or anyone else's) time. Suffice to say, I would strongly discourage you from emulating his style and language choices. Did you notice that the opening sentence spreads across four lines of text on the screen (assuming you're on a laptop/desktop). If you're on a mobile, it will take up even more space. On a single page of a book, that would potentially take up about eight lines of text.
 

River Itchen

Member
Joined
Aug 9, 2023
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
I'm really surprised about that. So the link you gave in post #1 was to a Chinese translation of what was originally English text?

In all honesty, I don't think correcting all the errors in that piece is a good use of my (or anyone else's) time. Suffice to say, I would strongly discourage you from emulating his style and language choices. Did you notice that the opening sentence spreads across four lines of text on the screen (assuming you're on a laptop/desktop). If you're on a mobile, it will take up even more space. On a single page of a book, that would potentially take up about eight lines of text.
The Chinese text in the link describes how a person from Manchester, UK appreciates his English writing. The English text is his short story.
 

Tarheel

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Um, George Orwell? His stories about piggies I find rather childish.
I'm not sure what you mean by that. My guess would be "Animal Farm", but I don't think that's it. Otherwise, I didn't know he wrote any children's books. (I don't know if I would call the writing for children's books childish or not.) His most famous work, of course, was "1984".
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
I'm not sure what you mean by that. My guess would be "Animal Farm", but I don't think that's it. Otherwise, I didn't know he wrote any children's books. (I don't know if I would call the writing for children's books childish or not.) His most famous work, of course, was "1984".
I think that famous British sarcasm evaded your AmE eyes! I can confidently say he was talking about Animal Farm.
 

probus

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jan 7, 2011
Member Type
Retired English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Canada
Current Location
Canada
I've read every word Orwell ever published, essays and all. I've always thought it ironic that he is most remembered for Animal Farm and 1984, two of his weakest works.
 

Tarheel

VIP Member
Joined
Jun 16, 2014
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
American English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
I think that famous British sarcasm evaded your AmE eyes! I can confidently say he was talking about Animal Farm.
I guess you're right. Obviously, I thought about "Animal Farm", but I wouldn't use "childish" to describe the writing. Maybe "satirical" although that seems to miss the mark a bit. Hm.
 
Top