Please help me to correct grammar from my preventive medicine essay
Because my english writing is very poor so please help me to correct this essay.I know that there are many mistakes here but I will try my best to improve them. Thank you so much for ur time and ur kindness : )))
BTW,i didn't put the introduction and conclusion here.
Leptospirosis is Post-Flooding disease that Ministry of Public Health of Thailand is on alert for; especially in this year which flooding is considered to be the worst in 50 years
In 1999 after flooding, Ministry of Public Health of Thailand concerned over the Leptospirosis disease by launched the television advertisement. There was a Leptospirosis song in that advertisement,which talked about danger, symptoms and prevention, and for me, I was 10 years old in that time, I used to see this advertisement after I backed from school around 4 pm. I could remember that song and understood how the disease transmits and how to prevent. So, it meant that project really worked for primary school student liked me.
In the same year, my acquaintance, who owned grocery store in the town where I live, died from Leptospirosis after flooding crisis in the city. As 11-year-old child, I wondered why he let himself suffered from the disease although the song in that advertisement was very clear indeed or the publicize information on leptospirosis probably did not work. I recalled and thought carefully about that, and then I tried analyzing.
According to the job of my acquaintance as owner of grocery store, he had no time to watch television unless the shop close or in evening. In evening, to air the advertisement government has to pay large amount money because it is considered to be Primetime, thus government avoided to spend more money by aired the advertisement in day time instead. And this is the reason why the campaigns, which aired in 1999, were useless. So I think the example from this unlucky guy can show us that this campaign does not work on working people.
Another aspect, broadcasting authority should accommodate government with special privilege. Broadcast owner should emphasize on compatriots rather than the benefit. If they cooperate with the government to improve the dissemination by make them easier to reach an audience. I am convinced that the result will be better.
2011-flooding in Thailand, Government does not use only television as the medium of information disseminations, but internet media is also widely used. Majority of news are published on the internet or we can say that it is the 1st source of all information .I think, because it is easily reach people. Many organizations choose internet media to disseminate information about Leptospirosis disease although there are many groups of Thai live in countryside where WIFI is not available and people who cannot use computer. So, how can these groups of people receive news?
In my own opinion, to confront a problem head-on and deal with it directly, government should be more serious. The knowledge and suggestion about Leptospirosis must also be aired on radio because it is the main medium for the people in the countryside and people without electricity when flooding. Medicine and clearly instruction must be distributed for basic care because in flooding situation to go to hospital is not convenient. Lastly, the government has to support the plan until an improved result is obvious.
Re: Please help me to correct grammar from my preventive medicine essay
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gillnetter 
Let's start with articles. I inserted this sign () where articles should have been used. Correct this part first and then re-post for more comments.
Thank you very much Gillnetter.And here is my edited essay.Please help me to correct them again. And thank you again for your time :)
Leptospirosis is a Post-Flooding disease that The Ministry of Public Health of Thailand is on an alert for; especially in this year which flooding is considered to be the worst in 50 years
In 1999 after the flooding, The Ministry of Public Health of Thailand concerned over the Leptospirosis disease by launched the television advertisement. There was a Leptospirosis song in that advertisement,which talked about danger, symptoms and prevention, and for me, I was 10 years old in that time, I used to see this advertisement after I backed from school around 4 pm. I could remember that song and understood how the disease transmits and how to prevent. So, it meant that project really worked for primary school student liked me.
In the same year, my acquaintance, who (_)owned grocery store in the town where I live, died from Leptospirosis after the flooding crisis in the city. As an 11-year-old child, I wondered why he let himself suffered from the disease although the song in that advertisement was very clear indeed or the publicize information on leptospirosis probably did not work. I recalled and thought carefully about that, and then I tried analyzing.
According to the job of my acquaintance as owner of a grocery store, he had no time to watch television unless the shop close or in evening. In evening, to air the advertisement government has to pay large amount money because it is considered to be Primetime, thus the government avoided to spend more money by aired the advertisement in the day time instead. And this is the reason why the campaigns, which aired in 1999, were useless. So I think the example from this unlucky guy can show us that this campaign does not work on working people.
Another aspect, a broadcasting authority should accommodate government with special privilege. Broadcast owner should emphasize on compatriots rather than the benefit. If they cooperate with the government to improve the dissemination by make them easier to reach an audience. I am convinced that the result will be better.
2011-flooding in Thailand, the Government does not use only television as the medium of information disseminations, but internet media is also widely used. The Majority of news is published on the internet or we can say that it is the 1st source of all information .I think, because it is easily reach people. Many organizations choose internet media to disseminate information about Leptospirosis disease although there are many groups of Thai live in countryside where WIFI is not available and people who cannot use computer. So, how can these groups of people receive news?
In my own opinion, to confront a problem head-on and deal with it directly, the government should be more serious. The knowledge and suggestion about Leptospirosis must also be airedon the radio because it is the main medium for the people in the countryside and people without electricity when flooding. Medicine and clearly instruction must be distributed for basic care because in flooding situation to go to hospital is not convenient. Lastly, the government has to support the plan until an improved result is obvious.
Re: Please help me to correct grammar from my preventive medicine essay
Quote:
Leptospirosis is a
Quote:
Post-Flooding (disease that The Ministry of Public Health of Thailand is on an (article not needed here) alert for; especially in this year which flooding is considered to be the worst in 50 years this year.
Quote:
In 1999 after the flooding, The Ministry of Public Health of Thailand was concerned over the Leptospirosis disease and launched the a television advertisement. There was a Leptospirosis song in that advertisement, which talked about the danger, symptoms and prevention of Leptospirosis. When I was 10 years old in that time, I used to see this advertisement after I backed returned from school around 4 pm. I could remember that song, and I understood how the disease transmits and how to prevent it, so it meant that the project really worked for primary school students liked me.
In the same year, my acquaintance, who had owned a grocery store in the town where I live, died from Leptospirosis after the flooding crisis in the city. As an 11-year-old child, I wondered why he let himself suffered from the disease, despite the fact that the song in that advertisement was very clear indeed or the publicize information on leptospirosis probably did not work. about the dangers of Leptospirosis. I remembered and thought carefully about that, and then I tried to analyze it.
According to the job of my acquaintance, the owner of a grocery store, he had no time to watch television unless the shop was closed, or in the evening. To air the advertisement in the evening, the government had to pay large amounts of money because it is considered to be Primetime. Thus, the government avoided to spend spending more money by airing the advertisement in the daytime, instead. And This is the reason why the campaigns, which aired in 1999, were useless. So I think the example of this unlucky person can show us that this campaign does not work on help working people.
Another aspect, a Broadcasting authorities should accommodate government with special privileges. Broadcast owners should emphasize on compatriots, rather than the benefits. If They should cooperate with the government to improve the dissemination (of what?) by make them (it?) easier to reach an audience. I am convinced that the results will be better if this happens because... (Why?)
2011- After the flooding in Thailand in 2011, the Government does not use only television as the medium of information disseminations; internet media is also widely used. The majority of news is published on the internet, so we can say that it is the 1st source of all information. I think, because it is easily reach people. Many organizations choose internet media to disseminate information about the Leptospirosis disease, although there are many groups of Thai people living in the countryside where WIFI is not available and some people who cannot use a computer. How can these groups of people receive news? The answer lies in...
In my own opinion, to confront a problem head-on and deal with it directly, the government should be more serious (about what?). The knowledge and suggestion information about Leptospirosis must also be aired on the radio because it is the main medium for the people in the countryside and people without electricity when there is flooding. Medicine and clearly as well as instruction must be distributed for basic care because, in a flooding situation, to go going to the hospital is not convenient. Lastly, the government must support the plan until an improved result is obvious (available?).
Here's my personal input. That's mostly just grammar corrections. Your spelling is already pretty good. I added a few opportunities to expand on your sentences and provide more information. It is good to be specific about what you are talking about. Vague sentences can be misleading.
Re: Please help me to correct grammar from my preventive medicine essay
Quote:
Originally Posted by
lanced for free [I][SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]
Here's my personal input. That's mostly just grammar corrections. Your spelling is already pretty good. I added a few opportunities to expand on your sentences and provide more information. It is good to be specific about what you are talking about. Vague sentences can be misleading.
Thank to "lanced for free" for you kindness,helpfulness and your comments:)))))
