Can you take a look at this story

[Mortdefides]

I'm something of an author and I want to be sure that what I've written isn't full of mistakes and etc.So can you just take a look at this story I've written:

-Hey, Jоhn, how’re you doin’?
-Oh, I’m just fine.You?
-Me too!What a lovely day it is, isn’t it?
-Yeah...The sun shine, the birds sing, the flowers are growing and coloring themselves.
-Spring!
-You’re right, the spring’s here.
These guys were right.The spring was everywhere.The snow was melting gown, the snow flowers were growing in the countrysides, the people were happy and glad that the cold winter, wich once was wispering about death and ice now was gone.Oh, and those bird...oh, the birds was singing their wonderful songs for sun and love.Everything was new and fresh.Even the people looked a bit changed and happier.But there was one person, whose thoughts wasn’t at the spring, nor at the winter’s end.His name was Peter.He was a little boy, living in the west part of Bribich, Scotland.His mother was already dead, but his father was still alive...somewhere.He haven’t see him since his born.His mother(Julia)told Peter, that his father was not a good person, but a god thief.So he was in prison somewhere in England, because he tried to steal one person’s money, but he just didn’t have luck.That person was a good soldier and he was captured and put in prison.And now Peter was all alone, one pure boy and a orphan.He was trying to get something to eat this morning, but there wasn’t anything in the bins and nobody didn’t give nothing, so he was still starving.
-Mr., do you have any money?
-No, kid, I don’t.
-What about food?Do you have any?
-No, I don’t.Leave me alone, I wouldn’t give you anything, bacause I don’t have anything.
-Okay.
This was the answer from all of the people, crossing the street.Nobody wanted to give his own money or food to somebody else.People were selfish, but we can’t blame them.They were poor too, maybe their own familys didn’t have food on the table or money to buy food.No one is so stupid(or so good as a person)to give his own to the others.We had lost the meaning of the word mercy.In our souls there is only badness and the selfishness, wich are burning us inside and forcing us, beating us to know only “mine”, not “our”!People are crule.
“Now what?How am I going to live like that?”-was thinking Peter”I should try to be a thief...NO!Never!I won’t be a thief, never, never, never!”Yes, he was a good boy, but still, he was poor and he had not any clothes, so he was hungry and cold.He had a caugh.But his only option was to stay in the snow, because if Jack see him he will ask him for his money, wich Peter do not have.He owe 10 dollars to that boy-Jack.He was 5 years older than Peter and he had some more boys with him-that was his way to be interesting-beating smaller boys.
-Hey, kid!
-Hey, Jack.-said the little boy and tried to leave.
-What is your hurry?!-barked one of Jack’s friends and caugh Peter’s hair.
That was painful and the poor boy stopped.
-Get your ass here, you little worm.-shouted Jack.
-Yeah, little worm!-laughed one other guy with skinny body and funny-looking clothes.
-Okay, I’m here!Have it your way.-said Peter with his eyes shut, waiting.
-Hey, hey!Open your eyes.Someone could think, that I’ll kill you.
-Yeah, kill you.-laughed the same skinny boy.
-Shut up, idiot.I just want to warn you.I’m giving you ten seconds to get your dirty and stupid ass out of my area.If I see you here again without any money in your pocket...you’ll be a dead man.
-Okay, Jack.
-I’m starting count.One...two...
-Okay, okay...
-Get lost!-said the “idiot” laughing.
-Three, four...
But Peter was running and the only thing, that he managed to hear was the laugher.He ran and ran.
“Why must they always make fun of me.Why?!What did I do to them to hate me?If I don’t go to that place I will be hungry all the time.”
But his questions were too hard to be answered.Peter stood up as if nothing has happened and continued his walk around the town.There wasn’t anything he could do, but walked around, trying to find something interesting.
-Please, sir, do you have any money?
-Get lost, boy!
And the same conversation was repeating again and again.The old story.But suddenly in the sadness and darkness Peter’s friend-Mark McBride came and sat next to the begger.
-Great day, huh?
-Yeah, right!
-What’s wrong, Peter?
-I can ask you the same.
-No, you can’t.Nothing’s wrong with me, but you look miserable.
-I’m miserable.I don’t have any money, I don’t have work, I don’t...I don’t have life at all.
-Wow, take it easy, pal.There is a lot of life before you.And don’t be worry soon you’ll be rich, I’m sure.
Peter laughed on that joke, but his laughter wasn’t normal-it was sad and hopless.
-Yes, I’ll be rich and you will be the next prince of England.
-I bet I will be!
-HA-HA-HA-HA!Mark you are going to kill me.But let’s stop with the jokes and let’s get to work.
-Leave the thinking to me, okay?
-All right, Mark.You’re the brain.-said Peter with irony.
Mark was a bit stupid, but he didn’t think so.His favorite phrase was:”Leave the thinking on me.”The poor kid was sure, that he is smart, but the nature didn’t think so...
-Okay, let’s get to work.But we don’t have work...-sighed Peter.-We...we are just beggers, whose problems never won’t be solve.
-Hey, keep your head up.We’ll be just fine.-smiled Mark.He was such a optimist.
-Yeah, right...
-Don’t you belive me yet?!-said with big surprise the optimist.
-No, no.I still belive you, don’t be worry, but I’ve lost my hope.
Mark smiled sadly.Even he understood the hard situation, in wich they both got into.Their lifes were too hard for smiles, but still Peter smiled and Mark smiled.They stood up and tried to go somewhere, but...there wasn’t any place where they could go.They left that street and went to an old building with broken windows.There were kids on their age there...a lot of them.Some of them were running, other were dying from hunger or perhaps from illnesses. Dirth is the only word, wich can describe that place.But for the beggers and for the other children it was home.There were fires placed in the building.There was one in the beckyard. Peter and Mark went there to warm themselves.Other children where there too.
-Hey, Peter, what’s up with you?-asked one girl with blond curls and beautiful, but dirty hands.
-Bad day.
-Oh, we know.Come to warm yourselves.-smiled the girl.
Around the fire were two kids-the girl and one other boy.The girl’s name was Lilly.The boy’s name was Daniel.He was brother of the girl.Their parents were dead.
-I guess Jack wants his money back, doesn’t he?
-He does.If I don’t give them back he won’t let me in his area.And you know that only in his area you can get money.There are a lot of people and if you stand there you can get about seven dollars of even more.
-Yeah, we know.-said Daniel.-I got eleven dollars two week ago.It was enough to buy food for two of us and we even tried to buy a cake, but it costed 25 dollars.
-Hey, don’t get so sad, friends.I will think of something.Don’t be worry.We’ll be rich someday.-said Mark.
-Yeah, right.I already have 1 000 bucks in my pocket.-said Daniel.
-One day, I promise.



۰


The next day wasn’t so terrible.In fact in the morning it was sunny and not very cold.Mark woke up first.His mind was full of ideas and new ways to earn money.Of course any of those ideas didn’t make sense at all, but the boy has grabbed to them.His soul was pure and the world around it is dirty, smelly, ugly and hopeless.
The noiseless morning gave a new hope for something better, something new and more interesting than the last day.Peter woke up last.He felt his body glued to the ground and he just couldn’t move at all.The hardest thing was thinking about the 10 bucks wich he still haven’t earn.The Jack’s voice was still behind him and bothering him until the others came. They started joking and he felt better surrounded with friend and people who have the same problem as he has-the money.

Don't be too stern, because I'm just 13 for goodness sake.Well, have fun and I hope that it is not very stupid!

[trans]

Interesting, you are really something of an author. There are mistakes, but this doesn't spoil the story.

[Trisia]

I agree. You should try and read more, it will help improve your grammar and your vocabulary. I rather enjoyed reading it. Only, please try and put spaces after punctuation marks !!! It slows you down when you try to read.