Marina Gaidar
Member
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2012
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Russian
- Home Country
- Ukraine
- Current Location
- Ukraine
Hi! Here is an abstract from the fantasy style text which I'm trying to translate. Help me, please, to edit it. It should sound archaic, so the use of some archaic or old-fashioned words would be just great!
"YARYLO
We were so reckless. We let Marena follow us…
ARDEYA
(strokes his hair soothingly)
Sh… you must not worry now…
YARYLO
How long does it take to get to Polestar village?
ARDEYA
About two hours with a good horse and less than ten minutes with Marena’s ash sorcery.
YARYLO
So she has been there already…
ARDEYA
May be Marena is an artful foe…
YARYLO
(ironically)
May be?
ARDEYA
…but she has one major vice. She tends to underestimate her rivals.
YARYLO
What do you mean?
ARDEYA
Too overweening, Marena made no effort to conceal her presence. As soon as I discovered her following us, I led her astray and headed for this stronghold to ask for protection. So now Marena is probably a little bit… disappointed.
"YARYLO
We were so reckless. We let Marena follow us…
ARDEYA
(strokes his hair soothingly)
Sh… you must not worry now…
YARYLO
How long does it take to get to Polestar village?
ARDEYA
About two hours with a good horse and less than ten minutes with Marena’s ash sorcery.
YARYLO
So she has been there already…
ARDEYA
May be Marena is an artful foe…
YARYLO
(ironically)
May be?
ARDEYA
…but she has one major vice. She tends to underestimate her rivals.
YARYLO
What do you mean?
ARDEYA
Too overweening, Marena made no effort to conceal her presence. As soon as I discovered her following us, I led her astray and headed for this stronghold to ask for protection. So now Marena is probably a little bit… disappointed.