Bassim
VIP Member
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2008
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Bosnian
- Home Country
- Bosnia Herzegovina
- Current Location
- Sweden
Would you please correct the mistakes in the second part of my short story?
“Good evening, good people.”
“Good evening, Father Christmas,” They answered in unison like star-struck children.
“This is a special evening. You’re the luckiest couple on earth. I’m going to grant you a wish. You can get any thing you want.”
“Only one?” They looked at each other in disappointment. “Not three?”
“I’m Father Christmas and not Golden Fish; we must follow our strict rules and regulations, otherwise you’ll lose your license.”
They stood pondering in silence, and then Steve said, “I want a Ferrari.”
“A Ferrari, right, what colour?
“Red.”
“OK.” Father Christmas said and inhaled deeply, his chest expanding like a balloon.”
“Please wait,” Maria said. “Why don’t you need another car? You take care of your Audi as if it were a baby. You polish it twice a day and listen to the engine every day to hear if anything is wrong. You don’t even dare to drive it when it rains for fear it will rust.”
“The car is fifteen years old. It is well-maintained, but years are taking their toll. By the way, I’ve dreamt of driving a Ferrari since I was a child. “Wouldn’t you like to sit inside a red Ferrari, with the engine roaring and we two speeding down the motorway, free and flying like birds?”
“No, I wouldn’t. You’d look pathetic now when you are almost 50. Have you ever looked yourself in the mirror? Man, you’ll be soon bald. Who do you want to impress with an expensive toy, maybe teenage girls?”
“Please madam, tell me your wish,” said Father Christmas in a soft voice. He was eyeing her up, although she was swathed in a thick coat which hid her curvy body.
Maria thought for a few seconds before saying, “I think we need new furniture.”
Her husband snorted, “There is nothing wrong with our furniture. It’s as old as my car. You never made a fuss about it before.”
“How could I when I know what you’d say. I know how stingy you’re.”
“I stingy? You never lacked anything since you married me.”
“My friends told me hundreds of times that I need better furniture because of my quality needlepoint and embroidery, but I didn’t dare to ask you because I didn’t want an argument.”
“Listen, people”, said Father Christmas. Shell we say furniture to end this dispute.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Steve shouted. “You know that women are irrational. We don’t need any furniture. You can come with us and see for yourself.”
“Sure he can come and sit in our sagging sofa and armchairs.”
“Rubbish!” Steve shouted.
“Solid, carved furniture to match my embroidery.”
“Please!” Steve moaned.
Father Christmas grew impatient. He had a date this evening with a woman he had planned to marry soon. He was tired of living alone and freezing in long winter nights. She was large, and her soft body was going to warm her like a furnace. He had no time for stupid humans and their petty arguments. He sneaked off and disappeared into the night.
The couple became louder. Their angry voices reverberated in the quiet street. Soon, lights went up in the expensive homes, windows opened, and someone shouted, “Drunks, go home!”
Maria and Steve couldn’t hear them because they had the worst row of their life. They yelled at each other as if they were hard of hearing. They indeed looked like two drunks quarrelling. They were so engrossed in their argument that they had not noticed the police car coming along the street. Two police officers, one short, and another tall walked up to them, and first when the tall one said, “Hey, what’s going on here?” Maria and Steve jolted as if awaken from a dream. Their eyes searched up and down the street for Father Christmas, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“We met Father Christmas a few minutes ago. He promised to grant us a —, “Maria said before being interrupted by Steve.
“Yes. True. I wished a red Ferrari, and he would surely give it to me were it not for my wife who wanted bloody furniture.”
“Father Christmas?” The tall police officer said, smiling and winking at his colleague.
“Maybe you should drink less.”
“We didn’t ---.” Maria couldn’t finish her sentence
He put up his palm. “No offence has been committed, Go home, please, and don’t try to drive.”
They sat in their car and watched the couple from behind as they trudged through the snow, still talking aloud and gesticulating. “Let’s hope they don’t kill each other,” said the short one, and they both guffawed before making a U-turn and driving off. For any bachelor who would meet Maria and Steve in such an agitate state that evening, they would appear as a typical couple under Christmas shopping stress, making hell for each other. He would be laughing smugly for himself, praising his luck for being a single.
THE END
“Good evening, good people.”
“Good evening, Father Christmas,” They answered in unison like star-struck children.
“This is a special evening. You’re the luckiest couple on earth. I’m going to grant you a wish. You can get any thing you want.”
“Only one?” They looked at each other in disappointment. “Not three?”
“I’m Father Christmas and not Golden Fish; we must follow our strict rules and regulations, otherwise you’ll lose your license.”
They stood pondering in silence, and then Steve said, “I want a Ferrari.”
“A Ferrari, right, what colour?
“Red.”
“OK.” Father Christmas said and inhaled deeply, his chest expanding like a balloon.”
“Please wait,” Maria said. “Why don’t you need another car? You take care of your Audi as if it were a baby. You polish it twice a day and listen to the engine every day to hear if anything is wrong. You don’t even dare to drive it when it rains for fear it will rust.”
“The car is fifteen years old. It is well-maintained, but years are taking their toll. By the way, I’ve dreamt of driving a Ferrari since I was a child. “Wouldn’t you like to sit inside a red Ferrari, with the engine roaring and we two speeding down the motorway, free and flying like birds?”
“No, I wouldn’t. You’d look pathetic now when you are almost 50. Have you ever looked yourself in the mirror? Man, you’ll be soon bald. Who do you want to impress with an expensive toy, maybe teenage girls?”
“Please madam, tell me your wish,” said Father Christmas in a soft voice. He was eyeing her up, although she was swathed in a thick coat which hid her curvy body.
Maria thought for a few seconds before saying, “I think we need new furniture.”
Her husband snorted, “There is nothing wrong with our furniture. It’s as old as my car. You never made a fuss about it before.”
“How could I when I know what you’d say. I know how stingy you’re.”
“I stingy? You never lacked anything since you married me.”
“My friends told me hundreds of times that I need better furniture because of my quality needlepoint and embroidery, but I didn’t dare to ask you because I didn’t want an argument.”
“Listen, people”, said Father Christmas. Shell we say furniture to end this dispute.”
“Don’t listen to her,” Steve shouted. “You know that women are irrational. We don’t need any furniture. You can come with us and see for yourself.”
“Sure he can come and sit in our sagging sofa and armchairs.”
“Rubbish!” Steve shouted.
“Solid, carved furniture to match my embroidery.”
“Please!” Steve moaned.
Father Christmas grew impatient. He had a date this evening with a woman he had planned to marry soon. He was tired of living alone and freezing in long winter nights. She was large, and her soft body was going to warm her like a furnace. He had no time for stupid humans and their petty arguments. He sneaked off and disappeared into the night.
The couple became louder. Their angry voices reverberated in the quiet street. Soon, lights went up in the expensive homes, windows opened, and someone shouted, “Drunks, go home!”
Maria and Steve couldn’t hear them because they had the worst row of their life. They yelled at each other as if they were hard of hearing. They indeed looked like two drunks quarrelling. They were so engrossed in their argument that they had not noticed the police car coming along the street. Two police officers, one short, and another tall walked up to them, and first when the tall one said, “Hey, what’s going on here?” Maria and Steve jolted as if awaken from a dream. Their eyes searched up and down the street for Father Christmas, but he was nowhere to be seen.
“We met Father Christmas a few minutes ago. He promised to grant us a —, “Maria said before being interrupted by Steve.
“Yes. True. I wished a red Ferrari, and he would surely give it to me were it not for my wife who wanted bloody furniture.”
“Father Christmas?” The tall police officer said, smiling and winking at his colleague.
“Maybe you should drink less.”
“We didn’t ---.” Maria couldn’t finish her sentence
He put up his palm. “No offence has been committed, Go home, please, and don’t try to drive.”
They sat in their car and watched the couple from behind as they trudged through the snow, still talking aloud and gesticulating. “Let’s hope they don’t kill each other,” said the short one, and they both guffawed before making a U-turn and driving off. For any bachelor who would meet Maria and Steve in such an agitate state that evening, they would appear as a typical couple under Christmas shopping stress, making hell for each other. He would be laughing smugly for himself, praising his luck for being a single.
THE END
