Essay "talk about your attitude towards religion"

[Rachel Adams]

Could you please correct my essay? I added questions about the parts I wasn't sure about. Should contractions be avoided in essays? Such contractions as "there's", "I've", etc?


I think, (I think the comma after "think" is wrong) that if someone is a deeply religious person, he found the truth in God and wants to dedicate his life to him by refraining from worldly passion and finding enlightenment is really fine and worthy of respect. My attitude to religion changed when I was 25 and I think it may still (I am not sure "still" is correct. I mean it may change again) change. I considered myself as orthodox Christian (should I capitalize both orthodox and Christian?) until I was 25. I didn't think much of it and I didn't understand what it meant at all. That was until the train accident I was involved. Later, (should I remove comma after "later"?) I started finding answers to my questions about religion. And after that I've come to consider myself an atheist. (Should I use the present perfect or the past simple)
Now, I don't belong to any religion or any anti-religious group. I just think that there's some higher power that controls everything. I realized that this world is so complicated and so wonderfully constructed that there's no way to deny or prove the existence of God.

 

[teechar]

Could you please correct my text? essay?

An essay is typically a structured piece of formal writing.

Should contractions be avoided in essays?

They should in formal texts.

I think, (I think the comma after "think" is wrong)

Yes, there should be no comma here.

that if someone is a deeply religious person, and they found the truth in God and want to dedicate his their life to him by refraining from worldly passion and finding enlightenment, that is really fine and worthy of respect. My attitude to religion changed when I was 25, and I think it may still (I am not sure "still" is correct. I mean it may change again) change. I considered myself as Orthodox Christian

(should I capitalize both orthodox and Christian?)

Yes, because they are part of the name of a religion.

until I was 25. I didn't think much of it and I didn't understand what it meant at all. That was until the train accident I was involved in. Later, (should I remove comma after "later"?)

No. That comma is needed.

I started finding answers to my questions about religion. And after that I've come I started to consider myself an atheist. (Should I use the present perfect or the past simple)

You need the past simple, because the present perfect would include the present time too.

Now, I don't belong to any religion or any anti-religious group. I just think that there's some higher power that controls everything. I realized realize that this world is so complicated and so wonderfully constructed that there's no way to deny or prove the existence of God.

 

[Rachel Adams]

An essay is typically a structured piece of formal writing.

They should in formal texts.

Yes, there should be no comma here.



Yes, because they are part of the name of a religion.

No. That comma is needed.

You need the past simple, because the present perfect would include the present time too.

If I say "I considered myself as Orthodox Christian until I was 25. But, I didn't think much of it and didn't understand what it meant at all"
should I use a comma after "but" and before "and" in "of it, and" didn't understand..."? In Russian it's not used before "and" and I tend to use it in the same way.

 

[Tarheel]

If I say "I considered myself an Orthodox Christian until I was 25. But, I didn't think about it much, and didn't understand what it meant at all"
should I use a comma after "but" and before "and" in "of it, and" didn't understand..."? In Russian it's not used before "and" and I tend to use it in the same way.

No comma after "But', but yes to putting a comma before "and".

 

[Rachel Adams]

No comma after "But', but yes to putting a comma after "and".

Why is it required after "and"?

 

[teechar]

I would write it like this:
I had considered myself as Orthodox Christian until I was 25, but I didn't think much of it and didn't understand what it meant at all.
Do not put a comma after "and".

 

[Tarheel]

Why is it required after "and"?

That was a goof. I edited that post.

 

[Tdol]

How about dedicate his life to Him?

 

[Rachel Adams]

How about dedicate his life to Him?

Is it wrong not to capitalise "him"?

 

[Rover_KE]

No. It’s your choice.

 

[Tarheel]

Is it wrong not to capitalise "him"?

It's convention to capitalize pronouns that refer to God.

 

[5jj]

It's convention to capitalize pronouns that refer to God.

That used to be the case. It is no longer so for the majority of speakers of BrE.