Plutonus
New member
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2017
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Czech
- Home Country
- Czech Republic
- Current Location
- Czech Republic
Hi everybody!
I study an university in the Czech Republic and we were given a choice of three questions for our mid-term essay. I've chosen the one below and put museums and public gardens in comparison. I'd be really grateful if somebody would be willing to correct my grammatical, stylistic and maybe other mistakes if there are any. So I know that the effort won't be lost and I'll pass the semester
My selected essay assignment:
Your class has attended a panel discussion on facilities which should receive money from local authorities. You have made the notes below:
Which facilities should receive money from local authorities?
- museums
- sports centres
- public gardens
Some opinions expressed in the discussion:
- "Museums aren't popular with everybody!"
- "Sports centres mean healthier people."
- "A town needs green spaces - parks are great for everybody."
Write an essay discussing TWO of the facilities in your notes. You should explain which facility is more important for local authorities to give money to, giving reasons in support of your answer. You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should use your own words as far as possible.
My essay:
A town dilemma: To favour history or fulfill present needs?
Although they offer divergent ways of spending leisure time, both museums and public gardens occupy their important role within the town. Financial contribution for them could be supported by numerous statements, though due to the lack offunds we're forced to make a decision: should we prefer historical enlightenment or fulfill needs for a piece of nature?
Despite the fact they weren't used to be frequent on our territory, at present we're able to find a museum in almost every town. They do a good job in providing a visual experience of the history, something that books don't. They also serve as a depository of valuable exhibits. For these reasons they would be eligible to receive appropriate funding. But are museums really the highest priority?
Times when the good understanding of the closest environment was sufficient for our daily needs are undoubtedly gone. Nowadays we live in the developed world that is exposed to the so-called "information overload". This phenomenon is also one of the causes why museums suffer from lack of visitors. We tend to prefer facilities that allow us to take a break.
On the other hand, public gardens do this task very well. Yet, it is just one of their benefits among others. They also provide escape to nature within the reality of a town or city. On top of that, because they are not single-purpose, one is able to choose from several activities including reading or having a conversation.
Selection of preferred institution is definitely not an easy task. However, if necessary, we should put an emphasis on needs of today's life - and they're represented much better by public gardens, who are very often established as a central place of the particular area.
Thank you very much for your kind help in advance!
(Author: T. Raha)
I study an university in the Czech Republic and we were given a choice of three questions for our mid-term essay. I've chosen the one below and put museums and public gardens in comparison. I'd be really grateful if somebody would be willing to correct my grammatical, stylistic and maybe other mistakes if there are any. So I know that the effort won't be lost and I'll pass the semester
My selected essay assignment:
Your class has attended a panel discussion on facilities which should receive money from local authorities. You have made the notes below:
Which facilities should receive money from local authorities?
- museums
- sports centres
- public gardens
Some opinions expressed in the discussion:
- "Museums aren't popular with everybody!"
- "Sports centres mean healthier people."
- "A town needs green spaces - parks are great for everybody."
Write an essay discussing TWO of the facilities in your notes. You should explain which facility is more important for local authorities to give money to, giving reasons in support of your answer. You may, if you wish, make use of the opinions expressed in the discussion, but you should use your own words as far as possible.
My essay:
A town dilemma: To favour history or fulfill present needs?
Although they offer divergent ways of spending leisure time, both museums and public gardens occupy their important role within the town. Financial contribution for them could be supported by numerous statements, though due to the lack offunds we're forced to make a decision: should we prefer historical enlightenment or fulfill needs for a piece of nature?
Despite the fact they weren't used to be frequent on our territory, at present we're able to find a museum in almost every town. They do a good job in providing a visual experience of the history, something that books don't. They also serve as a depository of valuable exhibits. For these reasons they would be eligible to receive appropriate funding. But are museums really the highest priority?
Times when the good understanding of the closest environment was sufficient for our daily needs are undoubtedly gone. Nowadays we live in the developed world that is exposed to the so-called "information overload". This phenomenon is also one of the causes why museums suffer from lack of visitors. We tend to prefer facilities that allow us to take a break.
On the other hand, public gardens do this task very well. Yet, it is just one of their benefits among others. They also provide escape to nature within the reality of a town or city. On top of that, because they are not single-purpose, one is able to choose from several activities including reading or having a conversation.
Selection of preferred institution is definitely not an easy task. However, if necessary, we should put an emphasis on needs of today's life - and they're represented much better by public gardens, who are very often established as a central place of the particular area.
Thank you very much for your kind help in advance!
(Author: T. Raha)
