Make accessible

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Allen165

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How does the sentence that follows sound to you?

"Disclosure is defined as any active circulation or any passive making accessible of personal data."

Would this be better?

"Disclosure is defined as any active form of circulating or any passive form of making personal data accessible."

I am trying to translate something, and "making accessible" is a bit of a problem.

Thanks!
 
1. "Disclosure is defined as any active circulation or any passive making accessible of personal data."

2. "Disclosure is defined as any active form of circulating or any passive form of making personal data accessible."
#1 is not good; #2 is a little better, but still clumsy.

I think that I would write:

Disclosure is defined as actively circulating, or passively allowing access to, personal data.
 
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