englishhobby
Key Member
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2009
- Member Type
- English Teacher
- Native Language
- Russian
- Home Country
- Russian Federation
- Current Location
- Russian Federation
I have translated a Russian poem. Could you please correct it so that it sounded a little bit more natural to a native ear (feel free to make any corrections you like, it doesn't have to be a masterpiece, I need it for an international conference of ornithologists)
In the marshes among the tree trunks
The sky in the east is bright as fire.
Suddenly, above my attic and above the long forgotten swamps
I might see the cranes.
Their sad crying all over Russia will wake me up and call me away.
They are flying high as heralds of fading.
And they can fully tell what’s in the soul.
People all over Russia wave to the cranes
Whose cries are about all those forgotten marshes and fields,
As a tale of ancient manuscripts.
Here they fly… People, open the gates,
Come out to see them on high!
Now they are silent and the nature is deserted and so is the soul,
Because (just keep quiet!) no one can express them so fully as the cranes.
In the marshes among the tree trunks
The sky in the east is bright as fire.
Suddenly, above my attic and above the long forgotten swamps
I might see the cranes.
Their sad crying all over Russia will wake me up and call me away.
They are flying high as heralds of fading.
And they can fully tell what’s in the soul.
People all over Russia wave to the cranes
Whose cries are about all those forgotten marshes and fields,
As a tale of ancient manuscripts.
Here they fly… People, open the gates,
Come out to see them on high!
Now they are silent and the nature is deserted and so is the soul,
Because (just keep quiet!) no one can express them so fully as the cranes.