Hello Raymott,
From what I understand from your words, "To whom are you talking?" is virtually obsolete and in speech or in writing the only way that the sentence can be worded is "Who are you talking to?. Is my interpretation of what you have said on this thread so far correct?
I would agree that "to whom are you talking?" is obsolete, or at least extremely outdated. "Whom are you talking to?" sounds more usual, only because Americans tend to always put prepositions at the end of sentences. I don't think it necessarily sounds unusual to say "whom", just that the speaker speaks very proper English (which may or may not be unusual depending on who(m) you ask). But by and large, modern speakers tend to say "who are you talking to?"
As a side note, I've been noticing more and more people lately
trying to sound smart or proper and incorrectly use "whom" by saying something like "whom was at the door?" which drives me insane. It's the same as when they say "John went with she and I to the movies," because they learned that their natural tendency to say "me and her went with John to the movies" was incorrect. So annoying!
(not a teacher, just a language lover)