[Cover Letter] Could you Proofread this please?

[beep21]

Is my Cover Letter correct? Is it good? I would like to apply to Mercedes Benz (and companies alike) internationally (in Asia or USA). The following is my Cover letter:




Dear Sir or Madam,

My Name is xxxx, I am xx years old and I am currently studying Mechanical Engineering (B.Sc.) at the University of xxx in the x[SUP]th[/SUP] semester.
I would like to apply to your company “COMPANY NAME” as an intern for a technical internship, for a duration of 12 weeks.

My course has given me a structure, which are the internship regulations and I am obligated to follow them to complete the internship. The Internship regulations of my Mechanical Engineering course state, that I have to complete at least three out of 9 given areas, to complete the internship successfully. These areas are separated into two categories: “Operational subjects” and “Engineering subjects”. Furthermore, I must cover the areas of the category “Operational Content” for a minimum amount of 4 weeks. In the attachment you will find a file of the internship regulations of my course, which will give you further information on this.

My strengths are a good adaptability, a keen perception and a result-oriented approach to work. Time-management, reliability and commitment to work are further traits, which I possess. I also like to assume leadership and complete every task which is given to me with an enormous amount of ambition and motivation. By working with my fellow classmates who are also talented and ambitious, I have developed my ability to think in a more analytical way and I have also learned to deal with difficult challenges.

The opportunity to complete my internship at your company “COMPANY NAME” and to therefore gain valuable experiences, would be a great addition to my study. At the university I am usually engaged with the theoretical side of Mechanical Engineering, but I tend to like the practical work better, because I personally learn better with hands-on experience and I can also apply the theory that I have learned in practice.
For this reason am I very excited and motivated for an internship at your company “COMPANY NAME” and I would be very glad for a positive reply.

I would like to complete the internship in the time frame from xx.xx.2016 – xx.xx.2016.

You can contact me anytime, if you have further questions.


Sincerely yours,

 

[teechar]

Dear Sir or Madam,

My Name is xxxx. I am xx years old, and I am currently studying for my B.Sc. in Mechanical Engineering [STRIKE](B.Sc.)[/STRIKE] at the University of xxx in the x[SUP]th[/SUP] semester.
I would like to apply to your company “COMPANY NAME” as an intern for a technical internship, for a duration of 12 weeks.

[STRIKE] My course has given me a structure, which are the internship regulations and I am obligated to follow them to[/STRIKE] As part of my degree program, I must complete [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] an internship. [STRIKE]The Internship regulations of my Mechanical Engineering course state, that[/STRIKE] I have to complete at least three out of nine given areas to complete the internship successfully. These areas are [STRIKE]separated[/STRIKE] grouped into two categories - “operational subjects” and “engineering subjects”. Furthermore, I must cover the areas of the [STRIKE]category[/STRIKE] “operational subjects" [STRIKE]content”[/STRIKE] category for a minimum [STRIKE]amount[/STRIKE] of four weeks. In the attachment you will find a file of the internship regulations of my course, which will give you further information on this.

My strengths are [STRIKE]a good[/STRIKE] adaptability, a keen perception and a result-oriented approach to work as well as good time-management, reliability and commitment. [STRIKE]to work are further traits, which I possess.[/STRIKE] I also like to assume leadership and complete every task which is given to me with an enormous amount of ambition and motivation. By working with my fellow classmates who are also talented and ambitious, I have developed my ability to think in a more analytical way, and I have also learned to deal with difficult challenges.

The opportunity to complete my internship at your company “COMPANY NAME” and to, therefore, gain valuable experience, would be a great addition to my study. At the university I am usually engaged with the theoretical side of mechanical engineering, but I tend to like the practical work better because I personally learn better with hands-on experience and I can also apply the theory that I have learned in practice.
For this reason, am I very excited and motivated [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to do an internship at your company “COMPANY NAME” and I would be very glad [STRIKE]for a[/STRIKE] to receive your positive reply.

I would like to [STRIKE]complete[/STRIKE] do the internship [STRIKE]in the time frame[/STRIKE] from xx.xx.2016 to xx.xx.2016.

You can contact me anytime if you have [STRIKE]further[/STRIKE] any questions.

Yours faithfully,
[STRIKE]Sincerely yours,[/STRIKE]

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