[Essay] Writing about nuclear power

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Zhao Qingyu

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Could anyone check my writing please? I am preparing an IETLS test recently.

Topic: Nuclear power is better than other sources of energy to meet the increasing need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Writing:

Humans insatiable thirst for energy has always been a heated inextricable issue for scientists, society and governments. new clear power might be a solution, but does it really better than other source of energy to meet the increasing need? Speaking for myself, I disagree with this opinion.

Needless to say, human being has taken advantage of nuclear power for centuries and was widely used all over the world. There must be some reasons for this phenomenon: First of all, a huge amount of nuclear energy could be generated from nuclear reaction which only need relatively a sparse of material, thus, nuclear power has high economic value and advanced efficiency compared to other source of energy such as petrol and gas. Second, because nuclear power won't left too much wastes, greenhouse effect could be alleviated with people's soaring dependency on nuclear power. Thus, nuclear power have its merits and could meet people's need of energy to some extent.

However, there are also some disadvantages of nuclear power. Though sophisticated equipments are used and well-trained scientists and workers are assigned to produce nuclear power, some undetectable progress mistakes, wrong manipulation and unavoidable natural disasters might cause new clear accidents, which make power station become a potential threaten to environment and lives. This is proved by the case of Fukushima nuclear disaster and it has far-reaching ramification. According to research, the detrimental repercussion of radiation leak including hundreds and thousands of cancers for the people living in the neighborhood of Fukushima station and water pollution. In addition, water, solar and other energy could be used without limitation and they are under control easily.

Taking both sides into consideration, nuclear power is a double-edged sword. As long as human could precisely build and use nuclear station, the productive resource is feasible. Besides, scientists should not stop finding new energy and should decrease their dependency on nuclear power.
 
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Tarheel

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Say:

I am preparing for an IELTS test.

Or:

I am studying for an IELTS test.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

The insatiable thirst for energy has always been a heated issue for scientists, society, and governments.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

Nuclear power might be the solution to our energy needs, but is it really better for us than other sources of energy?
 

Tarheel

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Three things.

We already know you are speaking for yourself. (That is the whole point!)

It is unclear what you are disagreeing with.

I suggest that you leave out that entire sentence.
 

Tarheel

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Second paragraph. First sentence.

You start off with the abominable "Needless to say" and the rest of the sentence makes no sense. (No, we have not had nuclear power for centuries.)
 

Zhao Qingyu

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Thanks a lot!

Could you check the rest of my writing please?:)
 

Tarheel

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Say:

First, a huge amount of energy can be generated from nuclear reactions, which require a relatively small amount of material. (Unlike coal, for example.)
 
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Tarheel

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Next sentence. Say:

Thus,...compared to other SOURCES of energy...
 

Tarheel

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Say:

Second, because nuclear power doesn't generate much waste....
 

Tarheel

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Say:

Thus, nuclear power has its merits, and it can meet people's energy needs to some extent.
 

Tarheel

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Next paragraph. Say:

However, there are some disadvantages TO nuclear power. Though sophisticated equipment is used, and well-trained scientists and workers are assigned to produce nuclear power, things can and do go wrong.

Please note that "equipment" is a noncount noun.
 

Tarheel

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A case in point is the Fukushima nuclear disaster, which has far-reaching ramifications.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

According to research, the nuclear disaster has resulted in radiation leaks that affected hundreds of thousands of people, and many of those people will develop cancer as a result. Also, there is the problem of water pollution.
 

Tarheel

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In addition, solar and other forms of energy can be used without limit, and they are easily controlled.
 

Charlie Bernstein

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Second paragraph. First sentence.

You start off with the abominable "Needless to say" . . . .

When it's needless to say, don't say it! Only say what needs saying.

And it's not "new clear." It's "nuclear."
 

Tarheel

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As for the last paragraph, you had to end it some way. And you could have done worse.
 

Zhao Qingyu

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Thanks! I realized I have been pursuing long and complicated sentences, which entail many grammar mistakes. Thanks again!
 

Zhao Qingyu

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"Needless to say" could be helpful as conjunction, and it could make your writing more constructive. I have seen many books recommend this little trick, notwithstanding I know it is futile. Could you provide some other contextual information?
 
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Tarheel

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I've been "off" for a couple of days, so I didn't know what was here. As for your question, I'm going to have to think about it.
 
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