E-mails for improvement works

[chowbarry]

Please help me improve the following e-mails for improvement works. Thank you.

1) Recapitulating a recent site meeting with Mr. Smith on 30.09.2016, Mr. Smith singled out that the wall between our garden and your drainage being defaced or having painting peeled off and he therefore cried out for the responsible parties to promptly repaint the wall, preferably in brighter color, to rectify the unaesthetic condition as well as beautify the environment. Since the wall's ownership have been in an unclear position but it tends to fall under your jurisdiction to our understanding, we are hopeful of you carrying out appropriate improvement work on the wall. If you think you are not the proper party to handle the case, please forward this e-mail to the right side to take necessary follow-up action or we may consider to seek the assistance of our Technical Division in repainting the wall for the sake of addressing Mr. Smith's concern and upholding the aesthetic value of environment there.

2) We would like to solicit your assistance in conducting a research on the installation of six water hose rollers covering every part of our playground (please see the location map below), with an aim of tidying up the water hoses and preventing those hoses from being once misplaced at the footpaths and posing a threat to public safety. We recognize that it may take a longer time for you to conduct the above study amid the current hectic season and your building renovation work being underway, we hope you can let us know your feedback on the work by 15.11.2016. We are always welcome to having in-depth discussion about the work through the arrangement of site meeting and if we don't receive any responses about the work from you beyond the above deadline, we may assume that you decide not to take up the responsibility of the work and we probably find some parties else to help us in this case. On the other hand, it is true that as we are now trying to liaise with other parties such as the current contractor of the car park to rectify the uneven floor at the car park, we are at least this moment in no need of your kind assistance in carrying out any repair works on the uneven floor even though we know your order on the work has already been in place. To avoid causing further detainment to your work management flow, we propose to cancel the repair order regarding the uneven floor and we hope you can understand our position in this case.

 

[tedmc]

1) [STRIKE]Recapitulating [/STRIKE] At [STRIKE]a recent[/STRIKE] the site meeting with Mr. Smith on 30.09.2016, Mr. Smith [STRIKE]singled[/STRIKE] pointed out that the wall between our garden and your drain[STRIKE]age[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]being[/STRIKE] was defaced [STRIKE]or[/STRIKE] and (or implies you are not sure but you have to be sure about the facts before writing the letter) [STRIKE]having [/STRIKE] had paint[STRIKE]ing [/STRIKE]peeled off and [STRIKE]he therefore cried out[/STRIKE] called for the responsible[STRIKE] parties[/STRIKE] party to promptly repaint the wall, preferably in a brighter color, to[STRIKE] rectify the unaesthetic condition as well as beautify the environment[/STRIKE] make it look presentable.

I find the second part a big wishy-washy. You admit that you are not clear whose responsibility the wall comes under and expect the other party to do the work. On the other hand, you say you are considering getting your "Technical Division" to do the work. Surely the other party would not take action if you are prepared to get the work done yourself.

Since the wall's ownership have been in an unclear position but it tends to fall under your jurisdiction to our understanding, we are hopeful of you carrying out appropriate improvement work on the wall. If you think you are not the proper party to handle the case, please forward this e-mail to the right side to take necessary follow-up action or we may consider to seek the assistance of our Technical Division in repainting the wall for the sake of addressing Mr. Smith's concern and upholding the aesthetic value of environment there.