[Application] I had a problem with my application

[ohcamper]

Hello everyone i am new here

ı'm applying for somewhere but they keep rejecting my application due to the grammar mistakes. I checked it several times but what is the problem? Can you helpme please? Thank you. At least 150 words.

Hello, I am xxxx I was born in Ankara, Turkey in 1991, I graduated from the high school in Turkey. After a while, for some economical problems I moved in USA, Los Santos. I was 19 when I moved to LS, I worked as a bartender for a year. After that I worked as a private driver for about 4 years. When it's been 5 years in LS, I applied for the American Citizenship. After two months they called me and I passed the test. Now I am a valid American Citizen.

I can say that my personality, my hard working skills make me apply this job. For this job, you have to take some responsibilities and I can handle it easily because I am a responsible person. Since my childhood, I had a special care for the buses, cars, public service vehicles. Probably the reason is my father was a taxi driver, I was inspired by him. DoT is offering very decent working standards and I think I am meeting the requirements. If I am being accepted I will do my job with love aswell. And the most important thing is I had great driving skills. I am aware of that this is a serious job because even a little mistake can lead to death.

 

[teechar]

Hello ocamper, and welcome to the forum.

After a while, for some economical problems I moved in USA, Los Santos.

What does that mean? Is it really important that you mention it in your letter; can you leave it out?

DoT is offering very decent working standards and I think I am meeting the requirements.

That means nothing; anyone can say that. You need to specifically (and convincingly) address the requirements outlined for that job. If you don't understand any of them, we might be able to help explain them to you.

And the most important thing is I had great driving skills.

Can you be specific here? Do you have a special drivers license? Do you have any points on your license? Did you ever have a car accident in the US?

I am aware of that this is a serious job because even a little mistake can lead to death.

Really? How?

 

[ohcamper]

Thank you for replying my answer!

What about now, i made some changes. Can you check it again?
And they rejected for grammar mistakes. I need to find grammar mistakes. Thank you so much.

Hello, I am xxxx I was born in Ankara, Turkey in 1991, I graduated from the high school in Turkey. After the high school [STRIKE]for some economical problems[/STRIKE] I moved in USA, Los Santos. I was 19 when I moved to LS, I worked as a bartender for a year. After that I worked as a private driver for about 4 years. When it's been 5 years in LS, I applied for the American Citizenship. After two months they called me and I passed the test. Now I am a valid America Citizen.

I can say that my personality, my hard working skills make me apply this job. For this job, you have to take some responsibilities and I can handle it easily because I am a responsible person. Since my childhood, I had a special care for the buses, cars, public service vehicles. Probably the reason is my father was a taxi driver, I was inspired by him. DoT is offering very decent working standards and I wanna be a part of it.[STRIKE]think I am meeting the requirements[/STRIKE] If I am being accepted I will do my job with love aswell. And the most important thing is I have great driving skills. [STRIKE]I am aware of that this is a serious job because even a little mistake can lead to death.[/STRIKE]

 

[teechar]

Thank you for replying. [STRIKE]my answer![/STRIKE]

How about now? I've made some changes. Can you check it again?
[STRIKE]And[/STRIKE] They rejected it for grammar mistakes. I need to find grammar mistakes. Thank you so much.

[STRIKE]Hello, I am[/STRIKE]

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is xxxx, and I was born in Ankara, Turkey in 1991. After I graduated from [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] high school in Turkey, [STRIKE]After the high school for some economical problems[/STRIKE] I moved [STRIKE]in USA,[/STRIKE] to Los Santos in the US. I was 19 at the time, and [STRIKE]when I moved to LS,[/STRIKE] I worked as a bartender for a year. After that, I worked as a private driver for about 4 years. [STRIKE]When it's been[/STRIKE] After residing for 5 years in LS, I [STRIKE]applied for the[/STRIKE] obtained American Citizenship. [STRIKE]After two months they called me and I passed the test. Now I am a valid America Citizen.[/STRIKE]

I can say that my friendly personality and my strong work ethic make me a suitable candidate for [STRIKE]hard working skills make me apply[/STRIKE] this job. [STRIKE]For this job, you have to take some responsibilities and I can handle it easily because[/STRIKE] I am a responsible, diligent and reliable person. Since my childhood, I have had a special [STRIKE]care for the[/STRIKE] interest in buses, cars, and public service vehicles. The reason for that is probably [STRIKE]the reason is[/STRIKE] because my father was a taxi driver, and I was inspired by him. [STRIKE]DoT is offering very decent working standards and I wanna be a part of it.think I am meeting the requirements[/STRIKE] If I am [STRIKE]being[/STRIKE] accepted for this position, I will [STRIKE]do[/STRIKE] carry out my duties [STRIKE]job[/STRIKE] with passion and dedication. [STRIKE]love aswell. And the most important thing is[/STRIKE] I have great driving skills, and I intend to employ those in the job. [STRIKE]I am aware of that this is a serious job because even a little mistake can lead to death.[/STRIKE]

Yours faithfully,

Turgut Yildirim.

.

 

[ohcamper]

Thank you very much! You helped alot, it is amazing. Thank you again

 

[teechar]

Note that there's no need to write a post to thank someone on the forum; you can just click the Thank/Like buttons instead.

You're welcome, and I wish you all the best with your application. Let us know how you get on. ;-)