He went home, alone and exhausted.

[alpacinou]

Is this correct and natural?

He went home, alone and exhausted. His bedroom felt airless and damp. He lay on the rickety bed, staring at the ceiling. The image of her melancholy smile kept bubbling up in his imagination.

 

[Tarheel]

Is this correct and natural?

He went home, alone and exhausted.

That's good.

His bedroom felt airless and damp.

There's got to be a better word than "airless". Musty?

He lay on the rickety bed, staring at the ceiling.

That's good.

The image of her melancholy smile kept bubbling up in his imagination.

I believe we're talking about his memory, not his imagination.

OK.

 

[alpacinou]

Can't I use imagination?

 

[Tarheel]

Is it a memory, or is it something he imagined?