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  1. #11
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    The problem isn't really the verb itself; it's the verb form you've chosen. Saying "seeing" there makes it sound as if the speaking ("Keep the change") and the look of delight happened at the same time. They didn't. The look of delight was a result of the man's words.

    "Keep the change", he said, then saw a look of delight on the boy's face.
    "Keep the change", he said, resulting in a look of delight on the boy's face.

    You need to demonstrate cause and effect.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  2. #12
    alpacinoutd is offline Key Member
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    Great suggestions.

    The only matter is the verb "stride". Does imply "happy, energetic" walk? Is it at odds with the last part where I say he is not in a good mood?

  3. #13
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Great suggestions.

    The only matter problem now is the verb "stride". Does it imply "happy, energetic" walk? Is it at odds with the last part where I say he is not in a good mood?
    It he strode, then he strode. It's simply a purposeful way of walking. I'd certainly stride to the door if I knew there was a pizza on the other side of it!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. #14
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I think tedmc was referring to "mozzarella-drenched", which apparently alpacinoutd learned from me last year. I'll have to take his word for it! But it certainly works in BrE in the context of pizza.
    He used "drenched" twice in that post. (I can tell you from experience what it's like to get drenched in pouring down rain.)
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  5. #15
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    He used "drenched" twice in that post. (I can tell you from experience what it's like to get drenched in pouring down rain.)
    I know he did, but your reply made it sound as if you were explaining to him why "drenched" worked in the context of rain, which isn't what he was referring to.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. #16
    Tdol is offline Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    Quote Originally Posted by alpacinoutd View Post
    Great suggestions.

    The only matter is the verb "stride". Does imply "happy, energetic" walk? Is it at odds with the last part where I say he is not in a good mood?
    He bounded down the stairs?

  7. #17
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    I don't think I'd use "bounded" if I wanted to suggest that the person is in a bad mood. Instead, I'd go in the opposite direction. Perhaps:

    He walked slowly down the stairs.
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  8. #18
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    trudged?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  9. #19
    Tarheel's Avatar
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    It's hard for me to consider that I'm in a bad mood if I have a pizza waiting for me on the other side of the door. (I considered "trudged" and it's not a terrible choice, but I like the two-word phrase in that sentence.)
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  10. #20
    emsr2d2's Avatar
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    Re: He strode down the stairs and opened the door.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    trudged?
    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    I considered "trudged" and it's not a terrible choice,
    Well, that's me damned by faint praise!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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