alpacinou
Key Member
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2019
- Member Type
- Interested in Language
- Native Language
- Persian
- Home Country
- Iran
- Current Location
- Iran
Is this correct and natural?
Bernard looked out the window. In the apartment across the street, a woman had stepped out of the shower. Silhouetted against orange glow of the lamp, she was wring her long hair. On the wall of her apartment, her hair's shadow loomed stretched and oversized.
I know some parts can be omitted, but I want to make sure the whole thing is correct and then I will cut it.
Also, what can I say instead of this part? : "shadow loomed stretched and oversized"
Bernard looked out the window. In the apartment across the street, a woman had stepped out of the shower. Silhouetted against orange glow of the lamp, she was wring her long hair. On the wall of her apartment, her hair's shadow loomed stretched and oversized.
I know some parts can be omitted, but I want to make sure the whole thing is correct and then I will cut it.
Also, what can I say instead of this part? : "shadow loomed stretched and oversized"