My favorite time of the day

[keannu]

My favorite time of the day

Let me introduce my favorite time of the day.
It’s the evening.
In the evening, first I have dinner with my family.
Then, I play with my younger sister.
We play together (like) doing hide and seek, playing a board game, or drawing.

1.Especially, both she and I like drawing with iPAD.
2.Both she and I especially like drawing with iPAD.
3.More than anything else/above all, Both she and I like drawing with iPAD.

I show her what I drew.
Then, I explain to her how I drew.
After playing with her, I usually play computer games.
I’m happiest when I play them/computer games.
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1. Does (like) have to be removed or does it work?
2. Which is the best among 1, 2, and 3?
3. Does it have to be "them"? Or does it sound natural?

Or if you have some parts wrong, please correct them.

 

[emsr2d2]

My favorite time of the day

Let me [STRIKE]introduce[/STRIKE] tell you [about] my favorite time of the day.
It’s the evening. In the evening, [STRIKE]first[/STRIKE] I have dinner with my family no full stop here then no comma here I play with my younger sister. We play [STRIKE]together (like) doing[/STRIKE] things like hide and seek or [STRIKE]playing a[/STRIKE] board games, or [STRIKE]drawing[/STRIKE] or we draw.

1. Especially, both she and I like drawing [STRIKE]with iPAD[/STRIKE] on an iPad. :cross:
2. [strike]B[/strike][strike]oth she and I[/strike] We [STRIKE]especially[/STRIKE] particularly like drawing [STRIKE]with iPAD[/STRIKE] on an iPad.
3. More than anything else [STRIKE]/above all[/STRIKE], [STRIKE]both she and I[/STRIKE] we like drawing [STRIKE]with iPAD[/STRIKE] on an iPad.

I show her what I [STRIKE]drew[/STRIKE] have drawn no full stop here then no comma here I explain to her how I drew it. After [STRIKE]playing with her[/STRIKE] that, I usually play computer games. I’m happiest when [STRIKE]I play them/computer games.[/STRIKE] I'm doing that.

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1. Does (like) have to be removed or does it work? "Like" on its own was wrong. See above.
2. Which is the best among 1, 2, and 3? With my corrections, #2 is my favourite.
3. Does it have to be "them"? [STRIKE]Or[/STRIKE] Does it sound natural? If a pronoun were natural, "them" would be the right one because it needs to refer to "computer games". However, as you can see above, it's not a natural way to express it.

[STRIKE]Or if you have some[/STRIKE] If any parts are wrong, please correct them.

Note my corrections (in red) and comments (in blue) above. There was no need for "Both she and I" either time. You had already mentioned yourself and your sister so, from then on, you should use "we".