A Chines Movie , Fatal Countdown: Reset

Gaya87

Member
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Tamil
Home Country
India
Current Location
Malaysia
Hi, can you please check the following sentences? Thank you.

Long summary
Xia Tian is a single mother who works as an associate researcher, helping to complete a machine that can allow people to go back in time. However, upon the completion of the machine, her son Dou Dou is kidnapped by a mysterious man who wants to know the technology behind time-traveling machine. In order to save her son, she takes a risk and travels to a time an hour and fifty minutes earlier to prevent the kidnapping.

Short summary
When her son is kidnapped by a mysterious man, the inventor of a time machine, Xia Tian, goes back in time an hour and fifty minutes earlier to rescue him.
 

emsr2d2

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
British English
Home Country
UK
Current Location
UK
In your short summary, it's impossible to tell whether the mysterious man or Xia Tian is the inventor of the time machine. Remove "earlier" - it's redundant after you've said "goes back in time".
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq

Long summary
Xia Tian is a single mother who works as an associate researcher helping to [STRIKE]complete[/STRIKE] make/design/build a machine that [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] allows people to go back in time. However, upon the completion of the project, [STRIKE]machine,[/STRIKE] her son Dou Dou is kidnapped by a mysterious man who wants to know the technology behind time-traveling machine. In order to save her son, she takes a risk and travels to a time an hour and fifty minutes earlier to prevent the kidnapping.

Short summary
When her son is kidnapped by a mysterious man, the inventor of a time machine Xia Tian goes back in time an hour and fifty minutes [STRIKE]earlier[/STRIKE] to rescue him.
Note the correct spelling for "Chinese" in your title.
 

Gaya87

Member
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Tamil
Home Country
India
Current Location
Malaysia
In your short summary, it's impossible to tell whether the mysterious man or Xia Tian is the inventor of the time machine.

This is just to make the short summary more interesting, isn’t?

I feel it’s very briefer if I don’t mention about the inventor & mysterious man.
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
I feel it’s very briefer if I don’t mention about the inventor & mysterious man.

Can you fix the mistakes in that sentence?
 

Gaya87

Member
Joined
Jul 5, 2015
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Tamil
Home Country
India
Current Location
Malaysia
Can you fix the mistakes in that sentence?

It’s a briefer version if I don’t mention it about the inventor and the mysterious man.
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
Delete "it about".
 

Matthew Wai

VIP Member
Joined
Nov 29, 2013
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
It would be briefer without mentioning the inventor and the mysterious man.
 
Top