[Grammar] A few examples of putative should to discuss

[Kotfor]

There are examples with "putative should" which I don't understand clearly. These are

1) I'm surprised that he should say it to you.
Questions
a) Did he realy say something in the past?
b) Am I surprised because I think he shouldn't have said it to you but he did?

2) I prefer that she should drive.
Questions
a) Is it an example with putative should?

3) What is the difference to your mind between -

It's a pity if they should be so obstinate. - It's a pity that they should be so obstinate.

 

[bhaisahab]

There are examples with "putative should" which I don't understand clearly. These are

1) I'm surprised that he should say it to you.
Questions
a) Did he realy say something in the past?
b) Am I surprised because I think he shouldn't have said it to you but he did? Yes.

2) I prefer that she should drive.
Questions
a) Is it an example with putative should? It's a false subjunctive, an alternative to "I prefer that she drive".

3) What is the difference to your mind between -

It's a pity if they should be so obstinate. If it happens, it's a pity. - It's a pity that they should be so obstinate. They have been obstinate and it's a pity that they have.

Bhai.

 

[Kotfor]

Bhai.

Very interesting.
From the previous post
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3) What is the difference to your mind between -

It's a pity if they should be so obstinate. If it happens, it's a pity.

It's a pity that they should be so obstinate. - They have been obstinate and it's a pity that they have.
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Could you explain why in the second sentence you see the reference to the past?

What if we had "It's a pity that they should have been so obstinate."

What would be the difference?

PS My guess.

It's a pity that they should be so obstinate. - They have been obstinate and it's a pity that they have.
It's a pity that they should have been so obstinate. - They were not obstinate but if they had been it would be a pity.

Can that be the case?

 

[bhaisahab]

PS My guess.

It's a pity that they should be so obstinate. - They have been obstinate and it's a pity that they have.
It's a pity that they should have been so obstinate. - They were not obstinate but if they had been it would be a pity. No, sorry, I'm afraid I confused you with my poor answer.
To have that meaning it would have to be: "It would be a pity if they had been so obstinate.

I'll revise what I said about #3: "It's a pity that they have been or are being so obstinate" depending on context.

 

[Kotfor]

I see. So these two can mean completely the same thing

It's a pity that they should be so obstinate.
It's a pity that they should have been so obstinate.

Is it the subjunctive mood here?