[General] A message to express anger (128 words)

[Silverobama]

Context:

A woman I met last month (first met online, later in real life) unfriended me in an app called WeChat. I was very angry to see her deleting me because we were not like people who chatted once and then deleted each other. We met each other in real life because she came to listen to my talk about how to study English. Her English isn't good so she wanted to improve. I told her I am a tutor and suggested that she might learn English from me, but I didn't say "She must learn English from me". Last but not least, I shared our forum with her to help her and then she unfriended me. The whole process she was very happy to talk to me, very nice. I didn't say anything rude or wrong. I think she's really disrespectful to me. After she deleted me in WeChat, I found her in the group we first met. I sent her the following message to show my anger:

Hello XXX. I was surprised to see that you'd unfriended me. I don't know the reason but I hope I haven't annoyed you by asking you to become my student. I'm a tutor and I earn my living by tutoring students in English. I don't think it's wrong to talk to a prospective client as I did to you, but I do think it's very rude to unfriend anyone. I used to do it a lot and now I realize that it was absurd and stupid. Of course, you have the right to do whatever you want. I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything rude or vulgar to you; I can post the messages between us if you want to read them again. Anyway, good luck with your English studies.

Would you please help me to improve this? I think it's still a bit wordy after an AE speaker's quick look. I'd appreciate if I can get some BE corrections here.

 

[5jj]

After she deleted me in WeChat, I found her in the group we first met.

That could be interpreted as stalking.

I sent her the following message to show my anger.

She made her free choice to unfriend you, and you want to show her your anger at this action. That could be interpreted as harassment.

For whatever reason, she did not want to be your WeChat friend. Leave her alone.

 

[Silverobama]

That could be interpreted as stalking.

I know there's a culture difference here, 5jj, but if you focus on the language aspect, you'll fisrt know that I just want to learn how to improve my writing skills by adding elements of happiness, sadness, etc.

If this is the so-called stalking, the group administrator would have kicked me out long time ago. I also in that group. I just wanted to tell her how I feel. Is that wrong?

She made her free choice to unfriend you, and you want to show her your anger at this action. That could be interpreted as harassment.

For whatever reason, she did not want to be your WeChat friend. Leave her alone.​

She was not only WeChat friend but someone who I met in real life, who I talked to in real life. Who was always being nice. I was puzzled and feeling a bit upset to send her that message.


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[emsr2d2]

Cultural differences aside, there's no reason to write an essay to her! Like 5jj, I would recommend leaving her alone but if you really must send one more message, make it short and to the point (not defensive).

I was sorry to see you unfriended me on [name of platform]. I hope I haven't offended you in some way. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help with your English studies.

Your original message verges on "mansplaining" - it was quite condescending. You basically said "You misunderstood my messages. Let me send them again so you can re-read them and you'll see that you were wrong!" If I received your original message from anyone, I would make sure I blocked them on every possible platform. It certainly wouldn't make me want to be their student or their friend.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Context:

A woman I met last month (first we met online, later in real life) unfriended me in an app called WeChat. I was very angry to see her deleting me, because we were not like people who chatted once and then deleted each other. We met each other in real life because she came to listen to my talk about how to study English. Her English isn't good, so she wanted to improve it. I told her I am a tutor and suggested that she might learn English from me, but I didn't say she must learn English from me[STRIKE]"[/STRIKE]. Last but not least, I shared our forum with her to help her, and then she unfriended me. Through the whole process she was very happy to talk to me, very nice. I didn't say anything rude or wrong. I think she's really disrespectful to me.

I wouldn't take it that way. She can study or chat with whoever she wants.

After she deleted me in WeChat, I found her in the group where we first met. I sent her the following message to show my anger:

Hello XXX. I was surprised to see that you'd unfriended me. I don't know the reason but I hope I haven't annoyed you by asking you to become my student. I'm a tutor and I earn my living by tutoring students in English. I don't think it's wrong to talk to a prospective client as I did to you, but I do think it's very rude to unfriend anyone.

I don't know Chinese manners. In the English-speaking world, it's rude to tell people they're rude or correct their manners (unless they're your children).

I used to do it a lot, and now I realize that it was absurd and stupid.

Unclear pronoun. What did you do that was absurd and stupid?

Of course, you have the right to do whatever you want. I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything rude or vulgar to you; I can post the messages between us if you want to read them again.

I can't see why she would want to read them again. I'm sure once was enough.

Anyway, good luck with your English studies.

Would you please help me to improve this?

You said you've already sent it.

I think it's still a bit wordy after an AE speaker's quick look. I'd appreciate if I can get some BE corrections here.

British an American English are essentially the same. In either, the letter is a little scary.

You have no reason to be angry. There is no reason to communicate with her again. Leave her alone. If she wants your help, she'll contact you.

I'm sure the British advisors here will agree.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I know there's a culture difference here, 5jj, but if you focus on the language aspect, you'll [STRIKE]fisrt[/STRIKE] know that I just want to learn how to improve my writing skills by adding elements of happiness, sadness, etc.

As you've probably noticed in our comments to other posters here, we try to steer students away from ill-advised correspondence.

If this is the so-called stalking, the group administrator would have kicked me out long [STRIKE]time[/STRIKE] ago. I am also in that group. I just wanted to tell her how I feel. Is that wrong?

I wouldn't call it stalking. But it is a minor form of harassment. (I've written harassment policies.) You definitely need to back off.

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She was not only a WeChat friend, but someone who I met in real life, who I talked with in real life, who was always [STRIKE]being[/STRIKE] nice.

All the more reason to let her end it.

I was puzzled and feeling a bit upset and wanted to send her that message.

It's not a good idea to say or imply that she rude or unkind. It's not a good idea to tell her what a good teacher or good person you are.

She doesn't owe you anything. You owe her respect, both professionally and socially. That includes respecting her decisions, her privacy, and whatever boundaries she sets.

She has her reasons. They might have nothing to do with you. Don't worry about it. Don't take it personally. There are plenty of other students out there.