A song about a bad man (please, help me to fix any mistakes . this song too)

[Trace Vaon]

Please help me to fix any mistakes in the lyrics of this song too :-D

I'm your father but
I don’t have time for you now
I have to go out
with friends and watch the game on tv
you ask me to bring you to the playground -- you like the swing
but I'm tired, maybe next time.

I'm your husband
if you get sick I have no time to waste
I have to think about
who seems to feel better than you!
I have to find
who makes me feel better....

RIT
Why do you blame me when I
just try to be a good man?
Why do you blame me when I...
I'm not a bad guy

I am alone now
my son, my wife, i have lost everything
I feel so good now, I can do everything I want
i just have to find somebody to hang out
what's left of the summer

 

[Raymott]

[...]
I'm your husband
if you get sick I have no time to waste
I have to think about
who seems to feel better than you!
I have to find
who makes me feel better....

[...]
I am alone now
my son, my wife, i have lost everything
I feel so good now, I can do everything I want
i just have to find somebody to hang out with
for what's left of the summer

We don't use 'who' that way in English. There are some quaint proverbs like "Who hesitates is lost". But you can't use it that way in current English. You really need "someone who", or maybe "whoever".
"Hang out with" is the phrase. You can't "hang out somebody what's left of summer" even in a song. You don't need to stress these prepositions though.

 

[Trace Vaon]

We don't use 'who' that way in English. There are some quaint proverbs like "Who hesitates is lost". But you can't use it that way in current English. You really need "someone who", or maybe "whoever".
"Hang out with" is the phrase. You can't "hang out somebody what's left of summer" even in a song. You don't need to stress these prepositions though.

I could change the lyrics in this way, do you agree?


I'm your father but
I don’t have time for you now
I have to go out
with friends and watch the game on tv
you ask me to bring you to the playground -- you like the swing
but I'm tired, maybe next time.

I'm your husband
if you get sick I have no time to waste
I have to think about
someone who feel better than you!
I have to find
someone who makes me feel better....

RIT
Why do you blame me when I
just try to be a good man?
Why do you blame me when I...
I'm not a bad guy

I am alone now
my son, my wife, i have lost everything
I feel so good now, I can do everything I want
i just have to find somebody to hang out with
for what's left of the summer

 

[Raymott]

Certainly. Your song is quite good.

I just realised that if you're using 'who' in the sense of "I have to think about [who feels better than you?], then it's OK, but it would have to be sung as a question.
Also "someone who feels better than you!"

 

[tree123]

i just have to find somebody to hang out

I know 'i' is simply a careless typo, but not sure in case this will be copied and pasted and printed out verbatim.

(Neither a native speaker nor a teacher of English)

 

[Trace Vaon]

Certainly. Your song is quite good.

I just realised that if you're using 'who' in the sense of "I have to think about [who feels better than you?], then it's OK, but it would have to be sung as a question.
Also "someone who feels better than you!"

In my idea it is not a question, but something like " I have to think about you --> I have to think about him --> I have to think about someone --> I have to think about someone who feels better than you
Is it correct?

 

[Raymott]

Yes, so the original advice is correct. You need "someone who".