advertisements

[suzihasan]

HOW IMPORTANT ADVERTISEMENTS ARE!

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Do you think advertisements are a benefit to us or are they not? Recently, and especially these days, advertisements has become a very common thing for almost all companies. As everytime a new product is produced, the company immediately advertise it. But are they really important?

Advertising a product is a way to let the world know about it. This may sometimes benefit people but sometimes the do not. Advertisements makes people aware of the latest product produced. Furthermore, they are also done in a way which attracts the customers which is a great advantage to the company.

However, as much as they are important, they do have some drawbacks. One of them is that they attract people in a negative way which may not be useful to them. For example, advertisements about junk food attracts the children's attention, giving them the urge to buy these food.

Well, advertisements do have some drawbacks but not as much as their benefits. Advertising for a product can also give the customers tips about how to use this product which is not done when customers just go and buy it by themselves not knowing how it is being used.

But then some advertisements may be exaggerated that they make the customer want the product even though they can't really afford it.

Well in my opinion, advertisements do benefit us alot, but can direct people into a different way of thinking by all their exaggerations.


(PS: please check this article to me as soon as possible because i have a class test next week and I want to check if my grammar and vocabulary is good or not)

 

[teechar]

HOW IMPORTANT ADVERTISEMENTS ARE!

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Do you think advertisements are [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] of benefit to us? [STRIKE]or are they not?[/STRIKE] Recently, [STRIKE]and especially these days,[/STRIKE] advertising [STRIKE]ements[/STRIKE] has become a very common thing for almost all companies. As every time a new product is produced, the company immediately advertises it. But are these ads really important?

Advertising a product is a way [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] of letting the world know about it. This may sometimes benefit people, but sometimes it simply doesn't. [STRIKE]the do not.[/STRIKE] Advertisements can make people aware of the latest products on the market. [STRIKE]produced.[/STRIKE] Furthermore, they can provide additional useful information about price, availability and the specific qualities of the product or service being advertised. [STRIKE]are also done in a way which attracts the customers which is a great advantage to the company.[/STRIKE]

However, as much as they are important, [STRIKE]they[/STRIKE] advertisements do have some drawbacks. One [STRIKE]of them[/STRIKE] is that they attract people's attention to potentially unhealthy products. [STRIKE]in a negative way which may not be useful to them.[/STRIKE] For example, advertisements about junk food attract [STRIKE]s the[/STRIKE] children's attention [STRIKE], giving them the[/STRIKE] and urge to buy these foods.

[STRIKE]Well,[/STRIKE] However, although advertisements do have some drawbacks, [STRIKE]but not as much as their[/STRIKE] those are still overshadowed by the benefits. Advertising [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] a product can also give the customers tips about how to use [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] the product, which is an added advantage. [STRIKE]is not done when customers just go and buy it by themselves not knowing how it is being used.
[/STRIKE]

But then some advertisements may [STRIKE]be[/STRIKE] exaggerate the usefulness or benefits of a product, thus [STRIKE]that they[/STRIKE] making the customer want the product even though they may not need it or can't really afford it.

[STRIKE]Well[/STRIKE] In my opinion, advertisements do have benefit, [STRIKE]us alot,[/STRIKE] but they can also [STRIKE]direct people into a different[/STRIKE] influence people's way of thinking and make them spend money on things they don't really need. [STRIKE]by all their exaggerations.[/STRIKE]

Your paragraphing skills are weak. You should organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs (with each paragraph dealing with one theme/topic/aspect). Don't scatter your thoughts as you've done above. It confuses the reader as to what your position is.

You could also perhaps elaborate a little more on some of the points you mentioned. The junk food was a good example of that.

 

[suzihasan]

so if the total mark is out of 20 how much do I get ??

 

[teechar]

So [STRIKE]if the total mark is out of 20[/STRIKE] how [STRIKE]much do[/STRIKE] marks would I get out of 20?

That essay would struggle to pass. Write an essay about some other topic (bearing in mind my comments above), post it to the forum, and then we'd be in a better position to grade your writing.