After living and working abroad for decades

[Bassim]

Have I made any mistakes?

After living and working abroad for decades, Robert returned to his village, where he built a museum dedicated to the traditions, history and life in the village. He spared neither money nor time to turn his idea into reality, and he believes it is important to preserve the memories of the past, especially now that the existence of the village is engendered by migration and the low childbirth rate. It has been years since a child was born there, and it seems that the situation is not going to improve in the near future.

 

[teechar]

1- Can you avoid repeating "village" in the first sentence?
2- Can you think of an alternative to "idea" in the second?
3- Why did you jump from the past to the present?
4- Tweak "migration".
5- Tweak "childbirth rate".
6- Again, check the tenses of the last sentence.

 

[Bassim]

1. Could "place" be used instead of "village?" Would "where he built a museum dedicated to the traditions, history and life of the place" be OK?
2. I believe "dream" can be used instead of "idea."
3. I jumped from the past to the present because I imagined that he thinks about the museum now that he has built it. At that moment, I am describing the situation in the present. Is that wrong?
4. Should it be "by the migration"?
5. It should be "the low birthrate".
6. Would this version be OK? Again, I am describing the present situation.
It has been years since a child has been born there, and it seems that the situation is not going to improve in the near future.

 

[teechar]

1. Could "place" be used instead of "village?" Would "where he built a museum dedicated to the traditions, history and life of the place" be OK?

Yes, or you could use "history and life there".

2. I believe "dream" can be used instead of "idea."

Right.

3. I jumped from the past to the present because I imagined that he thinks about the museum now that he has built it. At that moment, I am describing the situation in the present. Is that wrong?

In that case, you should have used the present perfect for the very first verb "... Robert has returned to his village".

4. Should it be "by the migration"?

No. I was thinking of "by emigration".

5. It should be "the low birthrate".

Correct.

6. Would this version be OK? Again, I am describing the present situation.
It has been years since a child has been born there, and it seems that the situation is not going to improve in the near future.

Right.

 

[Tarheel]

the existence of the village is engendered

Did you mean to say endangered?

 

[Bassim]

Yes. I meant to say "endangered". I made a mistake.