[Grammar] After she parked her car in a place near the big house where the leadership

[Nikitus]

Hello.

Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

"After she parked her car in a place near the big house where the leadership course would be held, Kelly walked determinedly toward the big house. Once she entered through the front door, she looked for a few minutes to big painting at the entrance of the house.

After observing it with detention, she noticed that the painting was inspired by a landscape of Southern Chile. After that, his gaze settled on the large number of guests who had arrived at the leadership course, where some were checking their cell phones sitting and isolated from the real world, while others had a pleasant conversation.

Chloe, Jim and Vinny were talking. Kelly approached to the group. She asked a Chloe, 39 years old, brunette woman, if she could join the group."

Thanks.

 

[teechar]

After she parked her car in a place near the big house where the leadership course would be held, Kelly walked determinedly toward the big house. Once she entered through the front door, she looked for a few minutes [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] at the [STRIKE]big[/STRIKE] large painting [STRIKE]at[/STRIKE] near the entrance. [STRIKE]of the house.[/STRIKE]

After careful observation, [STRIKE]ing it with detention,[/STRIKE] she noticed that the painting was inspired by the landscape of Southern Chile. After that, [STRIKE]his[/STRIKE] her gaze settled on the large number of guests who had [STRIKE]arrived at[/STRIKE] come for the leadership course, where some in a world of their own, engrossed with [STRIKE]were[/STRIKE] checking their cellphones, [STRIKE]sitting and isolated from the real world,[/STRIKE] while others [STRIKE]had a[/STRIKE] were having pleasant conversations.

Chloe, Jim and Vinny were talking to each other. Kelly approached to the group and [STRIKE]She[/STRIKE] asked Chloe, a 39-year-old brunette [STRIKE]woman,[/STRIKE] if she could join the group.

.