Application letter correction

ttal54

New member
Joined
Jun 18, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
French
Home Country
France
Current Location
France
Hello

I need your help to correct my application letter for a spontaneous application internship. Any improvement or suggestion is welcome.

Here is the letter :

Subject: Spontaneous application for internship




Dear Sir or Madam


French student, passionated about new technologies I would like increase my international experience in this field and improve my english. For these reasons, I am applying for an internship paid or not from 24th July to 25th August in your company, where I will be happy to help you to raise it.


Currently, in first year of « Classes Préparatoires aux Grandes Ecoles », it is actually Two-year highly selective classes which prepare for the competitive exams to the best « Grandes Ecoles ».
This intensive course to become engineer, give me many abilities such as a strong organisation, fast learning and adaption of any situation.


I have a few computer skills (coding, database..), since I love learning, I aim to use this summer holiday to improve my hardware knowledge and my practice.
I am very dynamic and easy-going person who likes working efficiently, in a good atmosphere as my experience in a youth centre shows.


Motivated, I am used to always invest all myself in the tasks that I perform, so I really hope you will give me the opportunity to get new skills .


I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.


Yours faithfully.


Thanks You
 

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
Hello,

I need your help to correct my application letter for a spontaneous application internship. Any improvement or suggestion is welcome.

Here is the letter:

Subject: Spontaneous application for internship

Dear Sir or Madam,

I'm a French student, and I'm passionate about new technologies. I would like to increase my international experience in this field and improve my English. For these reasons, I am applying for an internship (paid or not) from 24th July to 25th August in your company, where I will give it my best effort. [STRIKE]be happy to help you to raise it.[/STRIKE]

Currently, I'm in my first year of Classes Préparatoires aux Grandes Ecoles. It is [STRIKE]actually[/STRIKE] a two-year highly selective [STRIKE]classes[/STRIKE] program which prepares students for the competitive entry exams to the best Grandes Ecoles.

This intensive course to become an engineer [STRIKE]give[/STRIKE] will teach me many [STRIKE]abilities[/STRIKE] skills such as [STRIKE]a strong[/STRIKE] organisation, fast learning and adaption [STRIKE]of any[/STRIKE] to various situations.

I have [STRIKE]a few[/STRIKE] good computer skills (coding and databases) and, since I love learning, I aim to use this summer holiday to improve my knowledge of hardware [STRIKE]knowledge[/STRIKE] and my programming skills. [STRIKE]practice.[/STRIKE]

I am a very dynamic and easy-going person who likes working efficiently [STRIKE], in a good atmosphere[/STRIKE] and collaboratively, as my experience in a youth centre shows.

Motivated, I am used to always investing all my effort [STRIKE]self[/STRIKE] in the tasks that I perform, so I really hope you will give me the opportunity to get new skills.

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.


Yours faithfully,

Jamie Colt

[STRIKE] Thanks You[/STRIKE]
I don't understand the text in blue.
 
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