Are you OK with....

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spaceniuzai

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May 22, 2007
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Hello -

I have a quick question. Which one of the following two is more appropriate?

1. Are you OK with me taking two days off next week?
2. Are you OK with my taking two days off next week?

I have always been a little bit confused by this type of sentence. Your help is greatly appreciated.
 
Some people prefer one form, some the other. Both are fine.
 
I'm in the group that considered "my" the "correct" choice.

"Taking" is a gerund here. It's noun-like. "Taking two days off" could be the subject of a sentence, for example. Therefore, my ear requires a possessive: My taking two days off. However, my ear is inconsistent. It sounds right to me to say "my taking two days off" or "his taking two days off" but "Susie's taking two days off" is not as natural sounding.

On the other hand, perhaps you think of it not as the "taking" that's the issue. It's ME taking it. You're fine with John taking two days off, but not with me taking two days off, because you know I have a big project due on Monday of next week.
 
I'm in the group that considered "my" the "correct" choice.
Writers on grammar have been disputing this for years. Fowler and Jespersen had a famous spat in the the pages of the Journal of the Society for Pure English betweeen 1925 and 1927.

Very generally speaking, those who had a 'good' education especially the older ones among us (but some younger people as well, Barb ;-)) believe that only possessive my is correct.

A second group, who feel that that we can approach this logically, believe that (1) we can regard the action as important, and the gerund as a verbal noun, in which case it is proceed by the possessive form (my, Susie's, etc) - and followed by 'of'; and (2) we can regard the perfomer of the action as important, and the gerund as a verbal noun, in which case it is preceded by the objective form (me, Susie, etc) - and no 'of' is required.

A third group is simply not bothered about it and and use either form, usually with no following 'of'.
 
Thank you both for the helpful discussion. I appreciate it.
 
Hello -

I have a quick question. Which one of the following two is more appropriate?

1. Are you OK with me taking two days off next week?
2. Are you OK with my taking two days off next week?

I have always been a little bit confused by this type of sentence. Your help is greatly appreciated.
Without taking sides in the me/my debate, I think there is a distinction that could be made in this context. If the days off are already arranged and known about, "my" sounds better. If the person is asking for permission, I'd use "me". In the latter case "my taking two days off next week" doesn't exist yet. You don't yet possess the days off.

It's the difference between:
1. Are you OK about those two days off that I'm taking next week?" (my) and
2. Would you be OK if I took two days off next week?" (me)
 
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