"Ashamed of someone" vs "Ashamed for someone"

[utsavviradiya]

"Ashamed of someone" vs "Ashamed for someone"

Can anyone tell me if there is a difference between the two? If so, could you please provide an explanation that includes a couple of scenarios or situations?

 

[White Hat]

Try this: "My parents didn't know what dole was. They worked and worked and then worked. I’m ashamed for them. I feel sad for them...".

 

[White Hat]

Here's another one: "For the first time in my life I felt ashamed to be a lawyer. I know the judge, the prosecutors and the police, and I am ashamed for them and of them. Cambridge has become like a rotten small town in the Deep South in the United States of America.".

 

[White Hat]

Here's one more: "That describes the government of Justin Trudeau. Any remaining remnants of principles or idealism it may once have had did not survive the methodical and devastating testimony of Jody Wilson-Raybould. She demolished them. For the first time in many years, I felt ashamed for my country.".

 

[5jj]

Please give us the author and title of anything you quote, White Hat.

 

[5jj]

"My parents didn't know what dole was. They worked and worked and then worked. I’m ashamed for them. I feel sad for them...".

I really don't understand what message the writer is trying to convey here.

 

[White Hat]

"For the first time in my life I felt ashamed to be a lawyer. I know the judge, the prosecutors and the police, and I am ashamed for them and of them. Cambridge has become like a rotten small town in the Deep South in the United States of America." This one is from 'Jailed for Helping the Homeless', an article by Kevin Ovenden. The author is using both 'for' and 'of'. Does 'ashamed for' imply that the author feels personally guilty about the behavior of those people?

 

[utsavviradiya]

I am afraid I don't still quite get that. Would you mind explaining them rather than just providing examples?

 

[jutfrank]

To make this as simple as it needs to be for you, use only 'of', not 'for'.

You may use 'of' with the sense of 'on behalf of' but that's very unusual.

 

[emsr2d2]

If you're ashamed (or embarrassed) for someone, it suggests empathy. You're putting yourself in that person's situation and you're feeling the same sense of shame/embarrassment that they are feeling. Effectively, both of you are feeling the same thing. However, if you're ashamed of someone/something, you're the only person with that feeling.

 

[Tarheel]

The phrase "ashamed for" is not in my vocabulary.

 

[utsavviradiya]

The phrase "ashamed for" is not in my vocabulary.

That's the case for the majority of English speakers, it seems. However, it is a part of the vernacular for a few speakers, and it can create a need for non-native speakers to understand its meaning.

 

[Tarheel]

@utsavviradiya Maybe. But it wouldn't come up very often.