Ben went into a restaurant to have a quiet dinner

Bassim

VIP Member
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Bosnian
Home Country
Bosnia Herzegovina
Current Location
Sweden
Would you please correct the mistakes in my sentences?

Ben went into a restaurant to have a quiet dinner, but soon found himself in the middle of the fierce row between a couple who could not agree on what wine to order with their meals. He left the place hastily, still chewing the food as he hurried down the street.
 

andrewg927

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2017
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
If you want to speak, write and read like a native English speaker, why are you reading articles by an Indian writer? The sentence was badly written to me. I mean BADLY. You should be reading the NY Times and the likes.

It sounds like your vocabulary is still limited. That is why you need to use a dictionary all the time. It is not something that can be done overnight. You just need to keep learning new words until you no longer need to use a dictionary on a daily basis.
 

andrewg927

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2017
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
There is too much information in one sentence. That sentence should be broken into 2 or 3 sentences.

Besides, I don't find "many representations were made" particularly natural. It would be better as "many complaints were made".
 

andrewg927

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2017
Member Type
Interested in Language
Native Language
English
Home Country
United States
Current Location
United States
Because the sentence is so condensed, there are some clarity issues as well. Like what did the writer mean by institutions? and a less important question of why the entire journal was blacklisted because of one bad writer. It could be a cultural thing that I'm not aware of but I think good writing shouldn't obscure clarity over theatrical effects.
 
Top