[General] ...charring my heart...

[rodgers white]

For me, poetry is an art form that allows the artist to combine both poetry and a visual work of art within a single art piece. Words and paintings are a perfect combination to provide a snapshot into our minds and thoughts. Would you please proofread my sentences and share what you imagine when you look at the painting? Any help would be appreciated. Here are the words and the painting.

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When I can't see you in the dark of a moonless night, fire rises in me ... leaping in my burning chest, charring my heart with its flames.



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By the way, merry christmas to all these great volunteer workers here!:up:

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

It's nice. Dramatic. Vivid.

Your elipsis isn't wrong, but they can be confusing, because they often mean that some words have been deleted, especially in quotations.

So you might use a comma or long dash instead.

Best wishes to you, too!

 

[rodgers white]

When I can't see you in the dark of a moonless night, fire rises in me - leaping in my burning chest, charring my heart with its flames.

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So now can anything be improved, or do you have any thing to share?

 

[rodgers white]

When I can't see you in the dark of a moonless night, fire rises in me - leaping in my burning chest, charring my heart with its flames.



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So now can anything be improved, or do you have any thing to share?

Actually this painting reminds me of one of the most recognizable paintings in all art – 'The scream'. It is so vivid descriptive of a human’s angst and anxiety at modern age. Painted with broad bands of garish color and highly simplified forms, it reduces the agonized figure to a distorted skull in the throes of an emotional crisis. For me both the paintings and the poems are the platforms for our human beings to do the study of the soul, that is to say, the study of my own self.



PS: the two paintings were done by Edvard Munch - a Norwegian painter. The painting above 'The scream' is his best known work, one of the iconic images of world art.