[Essay] Describe a famous building in your city.

Sarah-Betty

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Could you please check the following?

There are beautiful places all over my hometown, and it is no secret that they attract visitors to themselves. These places can also provide an opportunity to relive great moments in the city’s history and to expose visitors to our rich architectural heritage.
The Saadabad Palace is one of the key buildings and the major tourist attractions in Tehran which has a lot of the earmarks that an ancient building must have. It was built by the order of the Pahlavi dynasty of Iran in the Shemiran area in north of Tehran. This garden was the summer residence of Qajar Dynasty and has an area of 110 hectares.

This palace used to belong to the fallen king of Iran, and, after the Iranian Revolution, it became the place that houses numerous antiques, royal gifts, furniture, objects, and painting on exhibit. There is an entrance fee for visitors, because this place is an edifice that nowadays functions as the Anthropology Museum. The building is open to the public on weekdays but not on weekends.

It is a mixture of Iranian and European architecture. The interior design looks pretty majestic, and the officials have worked hard to keep it in its original condition. It just glitters on the inside of the building, and there are mirrors and crystals for/on walls and ceilings. How they did it so masterfully is still quite a mystery.

There are several spacious rooms on every floor, and needless to say that this building is a multi-storey one. There aren't modern facilities in the building, because like/as I said, no one wants the place to lose its old, original and majestic atmosphere.
If you are planning to do Tehran, this palace is certainly worth visiting, as it is only one of the best historical buildings where my country has to boast.

It is not a homework. I am practicing on my own.

Thank you.
 
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Tarheel

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Let's look at the first sentence. Say:

There are many beautiful places in my hometown, and it is no secret that they attract visitors.

Or:

There are many tourist attractions in Tehran.
 

Tarheel

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Say:

These places provide an opportunity to learn about great moments in the city's history....
 

Tarheel

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Perhaps:

The Saadabad Palace is one of the major tourist attractions in Tehran.

Bed time!
:)
 

Tarheel

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Say:

It was built by the Pahlavi dynasty in the Shemiran area in northern Tehran.
 

Tarheel

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Tarheel

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Next paragraph. Say:

This palace used to belong to the shah of Iran, and after the Iranian Revolution it became a place that houses numerous antiques, furniture, objects de art, and paintings on exhibit.
 

Tdol

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I question the relevance of the first paragraph. It is not answering the question directly. As the real answer begins with the second paragraph, I would recommend getting rid of the first.
 

Tarheel

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But the first paragraph tells about some of the history of the palace. There are a couple of questions though. What is a key building? Why did they make the members of the Qatar dynasty stay in the garden? Why wouldn't they let them into the palace itself?
 

Tarheel

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Third paragraph. Sarah-Betty, we can often make more powerful statements with simple sentences. Also, it is not the design that is majestic; it is the interior itself that is majestic. So say:

The interior is majestic.

You might also use awe-inspiring or breathtaking.

Also, rather than "officials" (bureaucrats) it might be better to say who actually does the work of keeping the place in good shape.

Say:

There are mirrors and crystals on the walls and ceilings.
 

Tarheel

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I wasn't wondering about how they did such a good job of building the place. Perhaps that's a subject for a different essay.
 

Tarheel

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Last paragraph. Say:

As you walk through the palace the sound of your footsteps will echo through the building.

That's not that unusual.

And:

If you are planning to visit Tehran this palace is certainly worth seeing.

And:

It is one of the most interesting historical buildings in the country.

________________________________

Say:

It is not homework. (No "a" there.)
 
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