desire got the better of

[alpacinou]

Hello.

Can I say a feeling or a desire "got the better" of another?

Is the sentence I have written correct and natural?

For a while, the thirst for revenge battled her desire to sleep with him. Finally, her desire for revenge got the better of her lust for him and she decided to hurt him.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Too wordy. Cut it down.

 

[alpacinou]

Too wordy. Cut it down.

Yes. I sensed it is a bit wordy. But is it correct?

Where do I cut?

 

[emsr2d2]

For a while, the thirst for revenge battled her desire to sleep with him. Finally, [STRIKE]her desire for revenge[/STRIKE] it got the better of her [STRIKE]lust for him[/STRIKE] and she decided to hurt him.

See above for a more concise version.

 

[alpacinou]

See above for a more concise version.

If I put it like that, wouldn't it be confusing? What does "it" refer to? I want to say the desire for revenge got the better of lust not the other way around.

 

[Tarheel]

Perhaps:

The thirst for revenge battled with lust.

 

[alpacinou]

Perhaps:

The thirst for revenge battled with lust.

But I want to mention which emotion overwhelms the other.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

See above for a more concise version.

Yup. That's just what I'd cut out.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

If I put it like that, wouldn't it be confusing? What does "it" refer to? I want to say the desire for revenge got the better of lust not the other way around.

But you get the idea, right? Now try shortening it so it makes sense to you.

To become a good English language writer, cutting out the fat is one of the most important things to learn. I cut out as much as half of my original text before it's finished.

 

[GoesStation]

But you get the idea, right? Now try shortening it so it makes sense to you.

To become a good English language writer, cutting out the fat is one of the most important things to learn. I cut out as much as half of my original text before it's finished.

The same applies to many languages. Blaise Pascal wrote a postscript to a letter in French apologizing for its length. He begged forgiveness on the grounds that he didn't have the time to make it shorter.

 

[alpacinou]

Alright, so please let me know if you think this is natural and correct:

Inside her, the desire to sleep with him battled the thirst for revenge. Finally, the latter got the better of the former and she decided to hurt him.

My own sense is that using latter and former doesn't work here because it makes it sound like an academic text.

But my original question still stands: Is it correct and natural to say "a feeling got the better of another feeling"? I know they say for example "his anger go the better of him" but could the expression be used to talk about two competing emotions inside a person?

Another example: The love he had in his heart for her from the old days got the better of the animosity that recently developed between them. They got back together.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

The same applies to many languages. Blaise Pascal wrote a postscript to a letter in French apologizing for its length. He begged forgiveness on the grounds that he didn't have the time to make it shorter.

My dad always said it was G.B. Shaw.

But my dad said a lot of things.

 

[alpacinou]

Which one is better / more natural?

1. Inside her, the desire to sleep with him battled the thirst for revenge. Finally, the latter got the better of the former and she decided to hurt him.

2. Inside her, the desire to sleep with him battled the thirst for revenge. Finally, it got the better of the her lust and she decided to hurt him.

 

[Tarheel]

But I want to mention which emotion overwhelms the other.

I don't try to put everything in one sentence. Try:

Revenge battled with lust. Revenge won.

When I read that I pretty much know what happened next. Do you?

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Alright, so please let me know if you think this is natural and correct:

Not especially.

[STRIKE]Inside her,[/STRIKE] The desire to sleep with him battled the thirst for revenge. Finally, revenge won. [STRIKE]and she decided to hurt him.[/STRIKE]

Of course it was inside her. Where else?

Of course she decided to hurt him. That's what revenge is.

Just use words that add meaning.

My own sense is that using latter and former doesn't work here because it makes it sound like an academic text.

I agree.

But my original question still stands: Is it correct and natural to say "a feeling got the better of another feeling"?

Didn't we answer that? Oops. Sorry. It's okay. More concisely, "one feeling got the better of another."

I know they say, for example, "his anger go the better of him" but could the expression be used to talk about two competing emotions inside a person?

Yes.

Another example: His love for her from the old days got the better of the animosity that had recently estranged them. They got back together.

Your written English is already very good. Interestingly, as you become more fluent, you'll find yourself saying things more simply.

(Cross-post.)