Diary - This evening, my mum went to meet a friend from Shanghai.

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

This evening, my mum went to meet a friend from Shanghai. I'm suspicious about their relationship because they talk every day. I once asked my mum why she talked to him every day, she said he's gay and very kind. I doubted that. Therefore, when she didn't notice, I peeked at her phone and saw the guy's name is "Scorpion Valentine". Who would call themselves this kind of name? Or did my mum set this name for him? The guy looked quite handsome and in his thirties, I guess. Even if he is gay, my mum might have a thing for him. From their previous conversation, they had met at least five or six years ago. They talked about Chinese opera and health issues very often.

 

[emsr2d2]

This evening, my mum went to meet a friend who was visiting from Shanghai.

I think it's important to explain that he's not just from Shanghai (ie that's where he was born and grew up) but that he still lives there and was just visiting your town.

I'm suspicious about their relationship because they talk every day.

That's good.

I once asked my mum why she talked talks to him every day; she said he's gay and very kind.

You had a comma splice there!
Also "He's gay and very kind" isn't really an answer to "Why do you talk to him every day?"

I doubted that.

What do you doubt - that he's gay or that he's kind?

Therefore, when she didn't notice wasn't looking, I peeked at her phone and saw the guy's name is "Scorpion Valentine".

Note my correction above. You could also have said "When I was sure she wouldn't notice ...".

Who would call themselves that? this kind of name?

It's not just the kind of name you're questioning. You're questioning his actual screen name and you've already mentioned it so you can refer to it as "that".

Or did my mum set just pick this that name for him in her phone contacts list?

We generally discourage learners from starting sentences with "or" but here it's OK.

The guy looked quite handsome and I'd say he's in his thirties. , I guess.

Using "I guess" at the end meant that it appeared to refer to both his age and his appearance. You didn't guess that he looked quite handsome. You guessed only his age.

Even if he is gay, my mum might [still] have a thing for him.

From their previous conversation, I gathered they had met at least five or six years ago.

What previous conversation? You haven't mentioned one. Did you overhear them on the phone at some point or do you mean that you gleaned that information from reading an online conversation between them while you were sneaking a look at her phone.

They talked about Chinese opera and health issues very often.

This is a really weird sentence! You've said that you know the details of only one conversation so how do you know what they talked about "very often"?

 

[Maybo]

What do you doubt - that he's gay

I doubted he’s gay.

Did you overhear them on the phone at some point

Yes. My mum often turns on the speaker so sometimes I heard them talking.

This is a really weird sentence! You've said that you know the details of only one conversation so how do you know what they talked about "very often"?

It should be “conversations”.

 

[emsr2d2]

I doubted he’s gay.

It's not really your place to question his sexuality, though, is it? You've never even met the man so that's a very weird doubt to have.

Yes. My mum often turns on the speaker talks to him on speakerphone so sometimes I heard overhear them talking the conversation.

See above.

It should be “conversations”.

OK.