Diary - Yesterday, when my mum and I were browsing in a mall

[Maybo]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Yesterday, when my mum and I were browsing in a mall, she suddenly said she saw a huge stroke of line. We immediately went to see the doctor. Fortunately, it is just an eye floater. She had been worrying that she might have had a stroke or retinal detachment on the way to the hospital. After the medical check-up, she has still been worrying. I tried to comfort her by telling her that I have floaters too. She actually knew that, but she'd never thought it could be that large. I told her that her floater is very small, and mine are bigger than her; whenever I read books in a very bright room, I see palm-size snakes twisting.

 

[tedmc]

This is an entry from my diary. Please check it and correct any mistakes.

Yesterday, when my mum and I were browsing in a mall, she suddenly said she saw a huge stroke of line. We immediately went to see the a doctor. Fortunately, it is they are just an eye floaters. On the way to the hospital, She had been worrying she was worried that she might have had be having a stroke or retinal detachment on the way to the hospital. After the medical check-up, she has was still been worrying. I tried to comfort her by telling her that I have floaters too. She actually knew that, but she'd never thought it could expected it to be that large. I told her that her floaters is were very small compared to mine. mine are bigger than her; Whenever I read books in a very bright room, I see palm-size snakes twisting.

Floaters don't appear as "a huge stroke of line". They are more like strands of fibres which look like worms, floating in a liquid, and they don't appear singly.
You mum couldn't have thought of a stroke as it was only a problem with her vision.

 

[Tarheel]

I might say:

On the way to the hospital she worried that she might have had a stroke or retinal detachment.

I am also mystified by "huge stroke of line".

 

[Amigos4]

Yesterday, when my mum and I were browsing in a mall, she suddenly said she saw a huge stroke of line.

"... a huge stroke of line" seems unnatural to me.

I told her that her floater is very small, and mine are bigger than hers; whenever I read books in a very bright room, I see palm-size snakes twisting.

There is an error in the title of your thread. Can you find it?

 

[Maybo]

She said the stroke of line was like calligraphy, very dark.

 

[emsr2d2]

Whatever she said, "stroke of line" is completely meaningless in English.

 

[Maybo]

Whatever she said, "stroke of line" is completely meaningless in English.

Does we simply just say “a stroke”?
Something like this:

 

[emsr2d2]

That's a sort of squiggly pen stroke, but we don't use that language to describe floaters in the eye. They're sometimes described as flecks.

 

[Maybo]

Can I say “After the medical check-up, she has still been worrying.”? She is still worrying.

 

[emsr2d2]

Can I say “After the medical check-up, she has still been worrying.”? She is still worrying.

No.

She's still worried, even though she's had a [medical] check-up.

We use "worried" (adj) much more often than "worry" (verb).

 

[Tarheel]

DO we simply just say “a stroke”?
Something like this:
View attachment 5744

No. If you have to describe it call it a squiggly line (as has already been mentioned).

 

[Tarheel]

Can I say “After the medical check-up, she has still been worrying.”? She is still worrying.

Perhaps:

Despite the doctor's explanation she is still worried.

 

[Maybo]

In what situation do people use “has been worrying”? Is it very uncommon?

 

[emsr2d2]

In what situation do people use “has been worrying”? Is it very uncommon?

I'd probably use the present perfect continuous for more long-term worries.

She's been worrying about the flight for weeks.
They've been worrying about what to do this Christmas since last Christmas!
I've been worrying about my health for ages but I can't be bothered to fight for a doctor's appointment.

 

[emsr2d2]

Yesterday, when while my mum and I were browsing in a mall, she suddenly said she saw could see a huge stroke of line in front of/in her eye. We immediately went to see the doctor. Fortunately, it is turned out to be just an eye a floater. On the way to the hospital, she had been worrying that she might have had a stroke or retinal detachment. on the way to the hospital. Even after the medical check-up, she has still been worrying she's still worried. I've tried to comfort her by telling her that I have floaters too. She actually knew that, but she'd never thought it they could be that large. I told her that her floater is very small, and mine are bigger than hers; whenever I read books in a very bright room, I see palm-sized snakes* twisting across the page.

I'm a little confused about the reference to the doctor and then, later, to the hospital. It sounds as if you went to two different places. Usually, when we say "I went to see the doctor", it's at a separate doctor's surgery, not a hospital. If you saw a doctor at the hospital, I'd say "We immediately went to hospital".
*Palm-sized snakes? Really? If they're that bad, you wouldn't be able to read. Something the size of your palm would cover the whole page. Also, snakes are long and thin but your palm is round/square. It's a poor analogy.

 

[Maybo]

I'm a little confused about the reference to the doctor and then, later, to the hospital. It sounds as if you went to two different places. Usually, when we say "I went to see the doctor", it's at a separate doctor's surgery, not a hospital. If you saw a doctor at the hospital, I'd say "We immediately went to hospital".

It was a doctor at the hospital.

*Palm-sized snakes? Really? If they're that bad, you wouldn't be able to read. Something the size of your palm would cover the whole page. Also, snakes are long and thin but your palm is round/square. It's a poor analogy.

I don’t know how to describe my floaters. When I read something close, they are very big. When I see things further away, they are smaller and thinner. They used to be obvious but they have become more transparent over time.

 

[Tarheel]

I don’t know how to describe my floaters. When I read something close, they are very big. When I see things further away, they are smaller and thinner. They used to be obvious but they HAVE become more transparent over time.

I would say they change in size. When you look at something close up they seem to be big. When you look at something far away they seem to be smaller. They have become less noticeable/distracting over time.

You don't want "more" in the last sentence because you are saying they are less of something.

 

[emsr2d2]

Having just read back the whole piece, I realise I should have changed a couple of sentences around:

We immediately went to hospital. On the way, she was worried that she might have a detached retina or even that she'd had a stroke. Fortunately, it turned out to be just a floater.

 

[Maybo]

she might have a detached retina or even that she'd had a stroke

Why do we need to use "might have" for detached retina but "had had" for a stroke? Can both of them use "might have"?

 

[Tarheel]

They are two different things. If you have a detached retina you have it until you got it fixed (hopefully). A stroke happens to you and then it has lasting after effects but it does not just simply continue.