Difficulty Understanding Spoken English in Social Settings

[KeerthiEva]

I have been learning English for 20 years, both in school and through various methods, such as private courses and watching movies/TV series. I recently moved to a non-English speaking country for work, where I interact with people from different countries, and we communicate in English. However, I am facing a significant problem: I struggle to understand about 60-70% of what people are saying in everyday conversations, unless they speak clearly and directly to me. Surprisingly, I can understand 70% of movies without subtitles and 95% of online presentations, talks, and lectures, including complex scientific topics. But in social situations, such as parties, I feel lost and unable to participate. This has caused a great deal of depression and damaged my self-esteem. I desperately seek advice on what I can do to improve my understanding of everyday English conversations and enjoy a better social life. Any suggestions or guidance would be immensely appreciated. Thank you.
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[emsr2d2]

Welcome to the life of a second language speaker. I have the same issue with Spanish. My Spanish is pretty good and on a one-to-basis, I'm fine! However, throw me into a party where loads of people are talking at the same time, in rapid Spanish and using loads of colloquialisms/slang etc, and I'm lost too! I realised fairly recently that I also rely on lip-reading quite a lot when I'm speaking to native Spanish speakers. I don't do it consciously but when I realised that I'm really uncomfortable on the phone, I worked out that that was the reason.

It's relatively easy to understand TV/films/presentations because there aren't any distractions. You can concentrate entirely on what you're watching or listening to and you know mostly what to expect. At parties and other social situations, people chop and change topic on a regular basis.

In my opinion, the only way to reach the standard you're aiming for is to live in an English-speaking country for at least six months (and, of course, to put yourself in those situations as often as you can). If that's impossible, see if you can find a couple of native English speakers where you're living and ask them to go for a coffee once in a while and just chat. Insist that they not make any allowances for the fact that you're not a native English speaker and to just chat away, using the normal everyday language they would use together. The reason I'm suggesting that you go out with at least two people at the same time is that you won't have the luxury of just concentrating on one person. If you can get more than two at a time, even better!

Don't let it damage your self-esteem. The fact that you can speak a second language to such a high level already is incredible.

 

[output]

Both are good English. I learned from that thread.

 

[SoothingDave]

Do you have the same problem in social situations with native English speakers? That is, is the issue with the casual conversation and informal language?

Or is it just that various non-native speakers will speak with various accents and that is hard to understand?

I have been on teleconferences with various non-native speakers who are speaking English and struggled to follow.

 

[output]

Do you have the same problem in social situations with native English speakers? That is, is the issue with the casual conversation and informal language?

Or is it just that various non-native speakers will speak with various accents and that is hard to understand?

I have been on teleconferences with various non-native speakers who are speaking English and struggled to follow.

All the answers are Yes! Please correct me English if I write it wrong.

How can I talk to native speakers with confidence?

 

[emsr2d2]

All the answers are Yes! Please correct me English if I write it wrong.

How can I talk to native speakers with confidence?

@output Please don't hijack another user's thread. All of the questions/comments here are directed to @KeerthiEva, who wrote post #1. Please start your own thread if you have questions.