Dr Mahathir’s elder statesman role

[Tan Elaine]

1. Dr Mahathir’s elder statesman role is also boosting Pakatan’s image among Malay Muslims, who in the past, have been sceptical of the opposition, said Khalid.

2. Dr Mahathir’s elder statesman role is also boosting Pakatan’s image among Malay Muslims who, in the past, have been sceptical of the opposition, said Khalid.

The first sentence is from a Malaysian news report.
The second sentence is mine.

I have changed the punctuation for the part in bold because I think the original is not correctly punctuated.

Is my correction right?

Thanks.

 

[tedmc]

Re: Is my correction right?

You are right.

 

[tzfujimino]

Re: Is my correction right?

May I ask a question here?

Is "Dr Mahathir's elder statesman role is ..." natural?
(I would probably use "Dr Mahathir's role as an elder statesman is ..." instead.)

Thank you.

Edit:
I've just found "Mr. Barragan will take on a vice president role at ..." here.
Both "elder statesman" and "vice president" seem to be used attributively in these examples above.

 

[emsr2d2]

Tan Elaine, I have changed your thread title. I'm sure you know by now that titles should include some/all of the words/phrases directly connected to your post.

 

[Rover_KE]

Rather than moving a comma, I'd delete the one after 'past' in #1.

'... Muslims, who in the past have been sceptical ...'

Is "Dr Mahathir's elder statesman role ..." natural?

Yes, it's fine.

 

[Tdol]

Re: Is my correction right?

(I would probably use "Dr Mahathir's role as an elder statesman is ..." instead.)

I think I would too unless it's an official position.