[Essay] focus my mind

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contiluo

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Please help me make the paragraphs below sound natural. Thanks.

My hobby is playing the piano. I have learned it since I was in the kindergarten. At first, I thought piano was a cool and interesting musical instrument. However, after I learned it for several years, I found that playing the piano was not as easy as I thought at the beginning. Playing the piano requires a certain amount of dedication. It takes time, patience, concentration, and perseverance to practice it. Even though practicing the piano is tiresome, it benefits me a lot. Playing the piano allows me to get away from the stresses of daily life and focus my mind on my technique and the music. It helps me to enhance eye-hand coordination, develop fine motor skills, increase cognitive development, and develop the ability to focus on multiple things simultaneously.

By the way, I like to do some outdoor activities on holidays. Among these activities, I love camping most. On one hand, camping presents excellent education opportunities. Out in nature, I really have to depend on myself to problem-solve. I cherish the time when camping in the wild with my family and friends. On the other hand, camping can be pretty grueling—there’s setting up the tent, starting and tending to the fire, getting water, cleaning the campsite, and so much more. The hard work involved is character-building and makes us appreciate the luxuries of our modern world.
 

teechar

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My hobby is playing the piano. I have [STRIKE]learned[/STRIKE] been playing it since I was in [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] kindergarten. At first, I thought the piano was a cool and interesting musical instrument. However, after [STRIKE]I learned[/STRIKE] playing it for several years, I found that [STRIKE]playing the piano[/STRIKE] it was not as easy as I thought at the beginning. Playing the piano requires a certain amount of dedication. It takes time, patience, concentration, and perseverance to practice it. Even though [STRIKE]practicing the[/STRIKE] piano practice may be [STRIKE]is[/STRIKE] tiresome, it benefits me a lot. Playing the piano allows me to get away from the stresses of daily life and focus my mind on my technique and the music. It helps me to enhance eye-hand coordination, develop fine motor skills, increase cognitive development, and develop [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] my ability to focus on multiple things simultaneously.

[STRIKE] By the way,[/STRIKE] I also like to do some outdoor activities [STRIKE]on[/STRIKE] during holidays. Among these activities, I love camping the most. [STRIKE]On one hand, camping presents[/STRIKE] It provides excellent [STRIKE]education[/STRIKE] learning opportunities. Out in nature, I really have to depend on myself to problem-solve. I cherish the time when camping in the wild with my family and friends. On the other hand, camping can be pretty grueling—there’s setting up the tent, starting and tending to the fire, getting water, cleaning the campsite, and so much more. The hard work involved is character-building and makes us appreciate the luxuries of our modern world.
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