hatimhussain
Member
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2006
- Member Type
- Student or Learner
- Native Language
- Urdu
- Home Country
- Pakistan
- Current Location
- Pakistan
Hello,
Could you please correct the following piece of writing for grammar and sentence structure? I feel that one sentence which starts from "Now for me.... a week ago" seems large in terms of length. If it is could you please rephrase it by breaking the sentence into shorter parts?
When I entered my room I found everything in a mess. Books and copies were lying here and there on the floor; fan, lights and my laptop were on. Just then I realized that Joseph, my nephew must have returned from his trip of Northern Parts of the country. I could hear the sound of shower inside the bathroom which confirmed his arrival. His university arranged this trip for which Joseph was so excited that he had started buying things like towel, toothpaste, toothbrush, soap and shaving cream, etc., a week ago. Now for me the only worrying part of his trip was that he would keep narrating every moment of his trip every time adding something new for days to come until I would be compelled to explicitly show my reluctance by expressing my non-chalant attitude to make him realize that I was no more interested in the repeated account of his trip. But I am afraid, he won't budge.
Could you please correct the following piece of writing for grammar and sentence structure? I feel that one sentence which starts from "Now for me.... a week ago" seems large in terms of length. If it is could you please rephrase it by breaking the sentence into shorter parts?
When I entered my room I found everything in a mess. Books and copies were lying here and there on the floor; fan, lights and my laptop were on. Just then I realized that Joseph, my nephew must have returned from his trip of Northern Parts of the country. I could hear the sound of shower inside the bathroom which confirmed his arrival. His university arranged this trip for which Joseph was so excited that he had started buying things like towel, toothpaste, toothbrush, soap and shaving cream, etc., a week ago. Now for me the only worrying part of his trip was that he would keep narrating every moment of his trip every time adding something new for days to come until I would be compelled to explicitly show my reluctance by expressing my non-chalant attitude to make him realize that I was no more interested in the repeated account of his trip. But I am afraid, he won't budge.