grammatically correct?

[Maxli]

Is my sentence grammatically correct? If not, how can it be improved.

They do not make good role models because their role in society is so insignificant that they do not greatly effect our world as much as doctors, who save millions of lives, teachers, who educate the future of this country, or the mother with two jobs working tirelessly so that she can send her two children to University.

 

[emsr2d2]

1. Check the difference between "effect" and "affect".
2. "University" does not need to be capitalised unless you are specifying which university.

 

[Raymott]

Is my sentence grammatically correct? If not, how can it be improved.

They do not make good role models because their role in society is so insignificant that they do not greatly effect our world as much as doctors, who save millions of lives, teachers, who educate the future of this country, or the mother with two jobs working tirelessly so that she can send her two children to University.

You might want to consider semicolons to separate phrases that themselves contain commas:
" ... as much as doctors, who save millions of lives; teachers, who educate the future of this country; or the mother with two jobs working tirelessly ..."

 

[virus99]

Do we need a comma before the participle phrase at the end (working tirelessly so that she can send her two children to university.)?

 

[Raymott]

Do we need a comma before the participle phrase at the end (working tirelessly so that she can send her two children to university.)?

It's optional. I think one of us would have mentioned it if we'd thought strongly that it was necessary.

 

[Barb_D]

Does any one doctor really save millions of lives?

 

[bhaisahab]

Does any one doctor really save millions of lives?

Probably not but I am happy with the plural "doctors" in the OP.

 

[Barb_D]

If we're being picky, I don't like the change from plural doctors and plural teachers to the singular "the mother."

 

[Raymott]

Do teachers really educate the future of this country?

 

[bhaisahab]

Do teachers really educate the future of this country?

In the sense that the future of the country is its young people, then yes, I think they do.

 

[bhaisahab]

If we're being picky, I don't like the change from plural doctors and plural teachers to the singular "the mother."

Really? I think that works OK.