had better / should

[wotcha]

Between 'had better' and 'should', which is stronger advice?

 

[5jj]

Neither is necessarily stronger.

 

[SirGod]

*Not a teacher

Though I agree with fivejedjon, I differentiate them a little bit. Example:

You had better go home, your mother is looking for you. (she is very angry, you are going to be punished)
You should go home, your mother is looking for you. (she is very worried)

I don't really know how to explain, I hope you will understand from my example.

 

[AlexAD]

I am not a teacher nor a native speaker.

There is something more that I learned from the Murphy's book (Yes! There is the dedicated topic in there).

Had better is similar to should but not exactly the same.
We use had better only for particular situation (not for things in general).
You can use should in all types of situation to give an opinion or to give an advice.
Also, with had better, there is always a danger or a problem if you don't follow the advice.

Dear teacher, I would be grateful if you would correct my grammar in the post.

Thanks, Alex.

 

[SirGod]

Also, with had better, there is always a danger or a problem if you don't follow the advice.

That's what I wanted to say, thank you, AlexAD!

 

[TheParser]

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


(1) IMHO, a learner should never use "had better' until s/he has a somewhat fluent

command of English. Otherwise, s/he is liable to get into BIG trouble -- without

understanding why.

(2) Many learners do not understand that sometimes a "had better" carries with it the

idea of "or else."

(3) Let's say that someone is blocking the door, and you cannot enter. If you say to

him/her: "You had better move!," the other person will be very insulted and may

reply: If I don't move, what are you going to do about it?"

Sincerely,


James

 

[TheParser]

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


A few minutes ago, I read something that I want to share with those

who want to see how "powerful" the words "had better" can be.

The article concerned anti-government demonstrations in a

certain country:

"The time and place for the demonstrations had to be transmitted

from mouth to mouth, from friend to friend. And they had better be

real friends." (My comment: If they had not been real friends, those

"friends" would have told the secret police.)



Sincerely yours,


James

 

[philo2009]

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


A few minutes ago, I read something that I want to share with those

who want to see how "powerful" the words "had better" can be.

The article concerned anti-government demonstrations in a

certain country:

"The time and place for the demonstrations had to be transmitted

from mouth to mouth, from friend to friend. And they had better be

real friends. " (My comment: If they had not been real friends, those

"friends" would have told the secret police.)



Sincerely yours,


James

(my underlining)

A very strange example, however, I think you'll agree, since the narrative relates to the past while 'had better', despite its past form, relates exclusively to the present! The underlined sentence needs amending to e.g.

And they had to be real friends.

 

[AlexAD]

Hello.

I'm reading the stories about Robin Hood and I've come across the usage of 'had better' that I find not very clear.

Robin brought a fellow, who didn't let him pass across the bridge, to the camp in the Sherwood Forest and asked his friends what they should do with him.
- 'Duck him!' they cried.
- 'No!' answered Robin. 'He has proved himself a fighter with a staff. He had far better join for us'.

It is clear from the context that the fellow wouldn't have caused any problem, if they had not allowed him to join their band. But... as I wrote before, referring to Murphy's book, with had better there is always a danger or a problem if you don't follow the advice. However, I can't see either of them in this example. Can you?

Yours sincerely, Alex.

 

[TheParser]

(my underlining)

A very strange example, however, I think you'll agree, since the narrative relates to the past while 'had better', despite its past form, relates exclusively to the present! The underlined sentence needs amending to e.g.

And they had to be real friends.

***** NOT A TEACHER *****

The teacher is spot-on (I just learned this bit of British slang and really

like it!!).

Like the teacher, when I first read it, I did find it a bit jarring.

Nevertheless, I really like it, and I feel that if fits nicely into the

feeling that the author is trying to express. But I lack the

ability to explain why some writers might justify this use of

"had better."


Sincerely,


James

 

[TheParser]

Hello.

I'm reading the stories about Robin Hood and I've come across the usage of 'had better' that I find not very clear.

Robin brought a fellow, who didn't let him pass across the bridge, to the camp in the Sherwood Forest and asked his friends what they should do with him.
- 'Duck him!' they cried.
- 'No!' answered Robin. 'He has proved himself a fighter with a staff. He had far better join for us'.

It is clear from the context that the fellow wouldn't have caused any problem, if they had not allowed him to join their band. But... as I wrote before, referring to Murphy's book, with had better there is always a danger or a problem if you don't follow the advice. However, I can't see either of them in this example. Can you?

Yours sincerely, Alex.

***** NOT A TEACHER *****


Hello, Alex:


(1) You have asked an excellent question. Before the language

professionals answer, may I just make a few comments?

(2) Maybe (a big "maybe"!!!) the problem lies with the difference

between "had better" and "far better."

(3) "had better":

You had better shut up, or I will hit you in your ugly face, dude!!!

(4) "far better" = much better:

"I had far better stay at home." = (I think) It would be much better

if I stay home.

"He had far better things to do with his time. = He had much better

things ....

Here is maybe the most famous "far better" quotation of all time.

You have probably read some of Charles Dickens's books, right?

(I have not. I do not like fiction.) Well, in one of his novels, a

character says


"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done ."

My source for this quotation explains that the character in the book

has "chosen to die in place of another man"!!! (Source: culture.your dictionary.com.) So I guess the character is saying that his decision to die for another man is much better than any other thing that he has ever done in his life.

(5) So maybe (maybe!!!) Mr. Hood (I like to use titles in order to

show respect) was saying something like:

It would be much better to have him join us. (That is, better than

ducking him.)


Sincerely,


James