Hi Buddy

[greenisgood]

Every now and then, I come across macho strangers who reply to a simple "Hi" greeting with a "Hi Buddy", in a condescending tone.

In AmE, how to politely let such strangers know that you don't like being addressed as "Buddy", and still carry on with a conversation without making a big deal out of it?

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm having trouble fitting all of these things together. "Buddy" seems like a pretty inoffensive phrase and I can't imagine why it would be said in a condescending tone. If it seems like the people you meet are being condescending, I would suggest that it's possible you are hearing a tone that is not intended.

Why do you call them "macho strangers"? What is so macho about them?

 

[SoothingDave]

You could say "Please call me ..." and tell them your name. That's probably the least rude way to respond.

What situations are you in and why do you think it is condescending?

 

[Barb_D]

And then there's the idea that some people are private individuals and don't like having conversations with strangers.

 

[emsr2d2]

And then there's the idea that some people are private individuals and don't like having conversations with strangers.

True, but then the OP said that these random strangers reply to "Hi" with "Hi buddy", so the OP is the one initiating the conversation.

 

[Barb_D]

Right. So if he says "hi" and someone is thinking "Um... who are you and why do you want to talk to me?" there might be some reason for a response that creates distance, either in word or tone or both.

 

[emsr2d2]

Right. So if he says "hi" and someone is thinking "Um... who are you and why do you want to talk to me?" there might be some reason for a response that creates distance, either in word or tone or both.

Ah, I see. I misunderstood. I thought you meant the OP wasn't interested in conversing with strangers. I would have to say though that if I were the stranger involved and I didn't want to converse with the OP after the OP said "Hi", I certainly wouldn't reply with "Hi, buddy" in any tone. Unless I'm missing a meaning, "buddy" is a fairly friendly greeting and I would expect anyone I said it to to continue conversing.

If a total stranger said "Hi" to me in the street or in a hallway and I didn't want to talk to them, I would perhaps nod, or say "Hi" very quietly but keep walking, or I would say nothing, look straight ahead and walk faster! Still, I'm British and we generally assume that any stranger who starts talking to us out of the blue is a nutcase!

 

[greenisgood]

Ah, I see. I misunderstood. I thought you meant the OP wasn't interested in conversing with strangers. I would have to say though that if I were the stranger involved and I didn't want to converse with the OP after the OP said "Hi", I certainly wouldn't reply with "Hi, buddy" in any tone. Unless I'm missing a meaning, "buddy" is a fairly friendly greeting and I would expect anyone I said it to to continue conversing.

If a total stranger said "Hi" to me in the street or in a hallway and I didn't want to talk to them, I would perhaps nod, or say "Hi" very quietly but keep walking, or I would say nothing, look straight ahead and walk faster! Still, I'm British and we generally assume that any stranger who starts talking to us out of the blue is a nutcase!

emsr2d2, Thanks for taking the time to read my question. In general, I am cordial and welcome talking with others.

When I said strangers, I meant new people that I come across in a particular context, not total passing by strangers on the street.

If I am in a shopping mall, and lets say a salesman approaches me or I approach someone for assistance, the conversation would start off with any of the following:

1) Hi there, is there anything I can help you with ...
2) Hi, how are you ...
3) How may I help you ...
3) Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute....
4) Hello sir, would you be interested in looking at this product.....
5) Hello, how do I get to flower shop....
6) Hi, I am looking for a ...

But once in a while I come across macho (sorry, I don't have a better description) men, that start off the conversation with - Hi Buddy, .... or Haaaay Buddy, ... or add Buddy at the end of sentences. I find this unacceptable since I have seen it used among familiar friends not with new people. I have never heard Buddy being used by professional people as those from banks, hospitals, government offices, restaurants, or most service sectors. Strangely, I never heard it from any new people over the phone either.

I was hoping to get suggestions on what would be a quick way to let the other person in these brief encounters know that you are no "buddy" of theirs, without making it a big deal.

Thanks.

 

[CarloSsS]

NOT A TEACHER

Is "Hi, buddy" really something one should feel offended about?
The OALD says:

2 (also bud) (both North American English, informal) used to speak to a man you do not know

• ‘Where to, buddy?’ the driver asked.

From the above, I infer that "Hi, buddy" is not meant to be offensive or anyhow insulting in the fairly informal situations that the OP described. But then again, I do not live in the U.S. and don't know the customary ways of addressing people in those situations.

 

[david11]

If a total stranger said "Hi" to me in the street or in a hallway and I didn't want to talk to them, I would perhaps nod, or say "Hi" very quietly but keep walking, or I would say nothing, look straight ahead and walk faster! Still, I'm British and we generally assume that any stranger who starts talking to us out of the blue is a nutcase!

Why did you use still here? The preceding sentence does not contradict with the following sentence.

 

[david11]

NOT A TEACHER

Is "Hi, buddy" really something one should feel offended about?

It maybe a bit offensive or inappropriate when one is supposed to call Sir or address formally but addresses as Hi buddy.

 

[CarloSsS]

Why did you use still here? The preceding sentence does not contradict with the following sentence.

still - Definition and pronunciation | Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary at OxfordLearnersDictionaries.com (see meaning 2).

It maybe a bit offensive or inappropriate when one is supposed to call [STRIKE]Sir[/STRIKE] "sir" or address formally but addresses as "Hi, buddy".

It may not be so in the situations the OP described. At least not according to what the dictionary says.

 

[david11]

still - Definition and pronunciation | Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary at OxfordLearnersDictionaries.com (see meaning 2).

Thanks for the link CarloSsS, but my doubt remains same because those two sentences don't contradict each other.

It is not in the situations the OP describe. At least not according to what the dictionary says.

You are right.The word inappropriate would be more appropriate than offensive.

 

[SoothingDave]

emsr2d2, Thanks for taking the time to read my question. In general, I am cordial and welcome talking with others.

When I said strangers, I meant new people that I come across in a particular context, not total passing by strangers on the street.

If I am in a shopping mall, and lets say a salesman approaches me or I approach someone for assistance, the conversation would start off with any of the following:

1) Hi there, is there anything I can help you with ...
2) Hi, how are you ...
3) How may I help you ...
3) Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute....
4) Hello sir, would you be interested in looking at this product.....
5) Hello, how do I get to flower shop....
6) Hi, I am looking for a ...

But once in a while I come across macho (sorry, I don't have a better description) men, that start off the conversation with - Hi Buddy, .... or Haaaay Buddy, ... or add Buddy at the end of sentences. I find this unacceptable since I have seen it used among familiar friends not with new people. I have never heard Buddy being used by professional people as those from banks, hospitals, government offices, restaurants, or most service sectors. Strangely, I never heard it from any new people over the phone either.

I was hoping to get suggestions on what would be a quick way to let the other person in these brief encounters know that you are no "buddy" of theirs, without making it a big deal.

Thanks.

I think you are mistaking what is supposed to be friendliness for condescension. Sales people aren't looking to offend their clients.

It's not uncommon here for waitresses to call you "hon" or "dear." There is no offense meant. If a cell phone salesman calls me "buddy," I'm not going to take offense.

 

[CarloSsS]

Thanks for the link CarloSsS, but my doubt remains same because those two sentences don't contradict each other.

Think of the "still" used like that as an alternative to using "but" or "however". Is it clearer now?

 

[david11]

And then there's the idea that some people are private individuals

Who are private individuals?

 

[CarloSsS]

I think you are mistaking what is supposed to be friendliness for condescension. Sales people aren't looking to offend their clients.

It's not uncommon here for waitresses to call you "hon" or "dear." There is no offense meant. If a cell phone salesman calls me "buddy," I'm not going to take offense.

This is most likely a cultural difference issue. I must admit that if, in my country and language, somebody addressed me by using the Czech equivalent of "Hi buddy", I might take offense.

 

[SoothingDave]

This is most likely a cultural difference issue. I must admit that if, in my country and language, somebody addressed me by using the Czech equivalent of "Hi buddy", I might take offense.

America is very informal. Usually when we meet people we immediately go to a "first name basis" in addressing them.

 

[david11]

Think of the "still" used like that as an alternative to using "but" or "however". Is it clearer now?

If a total stranger said "Hi" to me in the street or in a hallway and I didn't want to talk to them, I would perhaps nod, or say "Hi" very quietly but keep walking, or I would say nothing, look straight ahead and walk faster!However, I'm British and we generally assume that any stranger who starts talking to us out of the blue is a nutcase!​

​

In her earlier sentence, she says she would not respond to stranger saying "hi" and in the next sentence, she says British would assume people start talking to them out of the blue is a nutcase!.

I don't see any contrast between those two sentences.​

 

[greenisgood]

I think you are mistaking what is supposed to be friendliness for condescension. Sales people aren't looking to offend their clients.

It's not uncommon here for waitresses to call you "hon" or "dear." There is no offense meant. If a cell phone salesman calls me "buddy," I'm not going to take offense.

Yes, no offense. In American country/family diners, I see older waitresses (in a grandma/mommy tone) saying hon or dear to relatively younger patrons.

But, does the person using "buddy" make an assumption on the other person's age? Is it inappropriate for younger ones to call unfamiliar elder people "buddy"? I have seen an elderly bus driver (say 60 year old) say to a teenager - Hi buddy, where are your going! But, it appears inappropriate for a younger driver to say buddy to an older passenger. Hello Sir or Hi there, seems more appropriate. Isn't it?

Also, I have seen an older guest say to a younger waiter - Hey buddy, can you get me some water!, but rarely a waiter uses buddy on a guest. Is it inappropriate for a service provider to use buddy on a customer? Sir/Madam or First Name addressing seems more common.