How do I make these sentences more impressive?

[qin841121]

Hi, can anyone please suggest how can I make these sentences sound more impressive?

· Solid understanding of the financial markets: I have completed both the CFA and FRM program. In additional, I am currently pursuing a part time Master of Science in Applied Finance in Singapore Management University and the CAIA program.
· Strong analytical skills: A GMAT score of 750 (98[SUP]th[/SUP] percentile) has demonstrated my ability to think critically.
· Excellent communications and interpersonal skills: I am able to better relate to people as I am trained to teach and manage more than 200 students.

 

[qin841121]

Here are some suggested changes. In the US, the common form is to not use "I' in this type of writing ("I have...I am...). This is not a matter of being correct or incorrect, it is merely the form that is being used - brief and to the point.

Thank Gillnetter. That is great help.

Would you mind helping me vet through the whole cover letter? I would appreciate that deeply.


The advertisement read that you need a top performing financial analyst, and I believe that I match this requirement. Currently a teacher, it is my goal to leverage my analytical and communication skills to transition from the education industry to the financial sector.

As indicated in my resume, I have many skills that could contribute to your organization. The following offers a few highlights of my qualifications:


· Solid understanding of the financial markets: I have completed both the CFA and FRM program. With my superior financial knowledge, I can step into the position and be immediately productive.
· Strong analytical skills: Scoring top 2% in GMAT demonstrates my ability to think critically. My analytical skills will be a great asset when writing research reports.
· Excellent communications and interpersonal skills: My teaching experience has sharpened my ability to present in front of audience and build relationships with people.

I will contact you in the next two weeks to discuss my application, and look forward to a speaking engagement with you at that time. If you wish to contact me before that time, you may reach me at ***, or by email at ***. Thank you for your time and consideration.