[Answered] How to be a native speaker

[antonio4395]

1. What should I do if you are too nervous when you speak?
2. When you are too nervous when you speak, what if your pants are wet and the zipper is not pulled?
3. What should I do if someone else has been yelling at you or making a drum noise when you are speaking?
4. When you are speaking, no one is listening, everyone is doing their own thing. What should I do?
5. What should I do if you find that you are not prepared or collecting insufficient information during your speech?

 

[Raymott]

You can't say "What should I do when you are too nervous to speak" if you mean "What should I do when I am ..." or "What should you do when you are ..."
You can't become a native speaker unless you are born into an English speaking family or society; that's what it means.
I might leave your more esoteric questions for someone else.

 

[Tdol]

The first thing you should do as a learner is to remember that you are doing the hard work. We speak English the way you speak Chinese- it was given to us as babies. The second thing to remember is that the most important thing is to get your message across, and if the other person understands you you have communicated successfully. If a non-native speaker asks me Where bank?, I will be more concerned with sending them to the bank than worrying about the missing words.

 

[Skrej]

1. What should I do if you are too nervous when you speak? Take a few sips of gin. Sip, don't gulp.
2. When you are too nervous when you speak, what if your pants are wet and the zipper is not pulled? Tuck first, then zip. Blot dry. Or leave open for step #3 if you overdid step #1. Also, check to verify you're not dreaming.
3. What should I do if someone else has been yelling at you or making a drum noise when you are speaking? If still unzipped, pee on them. Otherwise, insult their mother.
4. When you are speaking, no one is listening, everyone is doing their own thing. What should I do? Find new material. Be more interesting. Or see #3.
5. What should I do if you find that you are not prepared or collecting insufficient information during your speech?Learn the subtle art of BS-ing. Stop procrastinating (next time).

To be a native speaker, you'll have to win the reincarnation lottery and be reborn into an English-speaking family. Good luck on next life.

 

[antonio4395]

Thank you, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I will try these methods to improve myself.

 

[Tdol]

No need for myself there. ;-)

 

[Matthew Wai]

Having read post #4, I think a better title would have been "How can I speak English as fluently as a native speaker?"

 

[Tdol]

The title works for me because those who have crossed the native-speaker threshold are native speakers to me.