[Vocabulary] How would you answer this question?

[julesalvanette]

I have been posting questions these past few days. Currently, I am preparing for an English speaking test via phone.

Could you help me out how to answer this question?

What kind of clients do you have? (referring to firms seeking accounting services)


Thanks a lot for your inputs!

 

[Barb_D]

Not until you tell us what kind of clients you have.

Write your best attempt and we'll point out where things have gone astray.

 

[julesalvanette]

How about this? By the way, the second part of the question asks about the clients' performance.

Other than Siemens, I am also in charge of Smith and Nephew, an English pharmaceutical company and Club Mediterranee, commonly known as Club Med, a French corporation of vacation resorts.

Smith and Nephew sells endoscopy, as well as orthopedic and wound management products. Almost all items/parts are manufactured in England or US and exported to the Japanese subsidiary. Same as Siemens, the company also seems to be making a lot of profit and growing steadily for the same reasons. ( I already mentioned reason, so I was just referring to them)

In Japan, there are two Club Med hotels, one located in the northern part of Japan, Hokkaido as a ski resort and the other in the southern part, Okinawa, which is known for its beautiful beaches. As a corporation of vacation resorts, Club Med is located in more than 25 countries. Club Med Japan introduces the Japanese tourists to its other sites acting as a travel agent. The two hotels attract a lot of tourists which translate to considerable sales and as an agent, with the help of a strong yen, they deal with a lot of foreign resort packages to Japanese customers. Both businesses in Japan seem to do well.

 

[Barb_D]

There are some minor tweaks we could make.
However, it's a test of your English so it probably isn't quite right for us to make changes. If you were horribly wrong, I'd make more suggestions.

I'll point out some parts that don't flow to me:

The "Same as Siemens" sentence is awkward. Maybe start with "The company" and find a way to not repeat the word "same."
The long part with the Club Med hotels is a run-on. Break this into shorter sentences.

You write better than many native students. If you ever dare to read the comments (because the ignorance is disheartening) that follow articles in Yahoo, you'll see your writing is better than 90% of what is written there. If you can speak this way and not sound like you're reading a script, you should do well in your interview.

 

[julesalvanette]

Thanks so much Barb.