I found myself listening to the silence echoing off the skulls of my former friends

[Glizdka]

Is my sentence grammatical and sensical? It's meant to be heavy on the metaphors.

When I was engulfed in violence, and had shut up the rabble that offends, I found myself listening to the silence echoing off the skulls of my former friends.

 

[emsr2d2]

I wouldn't call it "heavy on metaphors". Can you mark out the parts you consider metaphorical? (Please post the sentence again and underline the relevant parts.)

Note that although "sensical" is a word, it is very rarely used. Interestingly, we use "nonsensical" quite a lot.

 

[Rover_KE]

It's grammatical, but I've no idea what it means.

'Sensical' is not listed in any major dictionary.

(Cross-p0sted)

 

[teechar]

Who wrote that sentence?

 

[emsr2d2]

Is my sentence ...

Who wrote that sentence?

I would say the answer to that is in post #1. :-D

 

[Glizdka]

Note that although "sensical" is a word, it is very rarely used. Interestingly, we use "nonsensical" quite a lot.

'Sensical' is not listed in any major dictionary.

Would you advise against using sensical at all? I've seen not sensical, and nonsensical, but you're right, I've never seen just sensical.

I wouldn't call it "heavy on metaphors". Can you mark out the parts you consider metaphorical? (Please post the sentence again and underline the relevant parts.)

True. It's really the last sub-sentence that contained any metaphors (I think).

When I was engulfed in violence, and had shut up the rabble that offends, I found myself listening to the silence echoing off the skulls of my former friends.

Silence cannot be listened to. Refers back to the rabble that offended me. Instead of their insults, now, the only thing I can listen to is silence. Is that a metaphor?

When I was engulfed in violence, and had shut up the rabble that offends, I found myself listening to the silence echoing off the skulls of my former friends.

Silence cannot echo. Refers back to the rabble that offended me. Now, the only thing produced by on where their mouths used to be (the skulls) is silence. Is that a metaphor?

By the way, was I wrong to use the definite article before metaphors in my original post?

Is my sentence grammatical and sensical? It's meant to be heavy on the metaphors.

---

Who wrote that sentence?

Yours truly.

---

It's grammatical, but I've no idea what it means.

It's meant to mean "My friends insulted me. I lost it. I killed them. Now I can't hear their insults."

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Would you advise against using sensical at all? I've seen not sensical, and nonsensical, but you're right, I've never seen just sensical.

It's not a word I've ever heard. I doubt many others have, either.

True. It's really the last sub-sentence that contained any metaphors (I think).


Silence cannot be listened to.

You only notice silence if you listening. If you listen, you can hear the silence.

Refers back to the rabble that offended me. Instead of their insults, now, the only thing I can listen to is silence. Is that a metaphor?

No.

Silence cannot echo. Refers back to the rabble that offended me. Now, the only thing produced by on where their mouths used to be (the skulls) is silence. Is that a metaphor?

No. It's just language.

By the way, was I wrong to use the definite article before metaphors in my original post?

---

Yours truly.

---

It's meant to mean "My friend insulted me. I lost it. I killed them. Now I can't hear their insults."

I didn't understand that from reading it. It wasn't clear what "shut up the rabble that offends" meant. Now I know. Saying offended would help a little. But shut up doesn't mean kill., so I still wouldn't have gotten it.

And how did you get from friend (one person) to them? Who are they? It's confusing.

Keep at it. You're getting there!

 

[Glizdka]

I didn't understand that from reading it. It wasn't clear what "shut up the rabble that offends" meant. Now I know. Saying offended would help a little. But shut up doesn't mean kill., so I still wouldn't have gotten it.

I really need offends there, not offended.

I want offends to rhyme with friends, and violence to rhyme with silence.

By the way, what do you call an ABAB rhyming pattern? Is there a better name than my rudimentary "ABAB"?

---

"When I first joined UE, I didn't know what to expect, but now I know it's a great place to be, and where my English, I can perfect."

---

And how did you get from friend (one person) to them? Who are they? It's confusing.

It was a typo. I meant to write "friends".

My fingers are sloppy when I type, but I assure I'm a prodigy at the piano. ;-)

 

[jutfrank]

Grammatical, yes. Sensical, borderline. There are nonsensical parts.

By the way, sensical is fine and increasingly used in semantics. It means something like 'semantically acceptable'. It's the opposite of nonsensical. Both of these words have a strict technical sense in linguistics, which wouldn't be understood by the majority of the population. Of course, since this forum is highly preoccupied with linguistic meaning, I think it's quite appropriate.

 

[jutfrank]

When I was engulfed in violence, and had shut up the rabble that offends, I found myself listening to the silence echoing off the skulls of my former friends.

The blue part is metaphorical.
The green part is unintelligible.
The red parts are nonsensical. (There are two nonsensical elements here: listening to the silence and the silence echoing.

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

Grammatical, yes. Sensical, borderline. There are nonsensical parts.

By the way, sensical is fine and increasingly used in semantics. It means something like 'semantically acceptable'. It's the opposite of nonsensical. Both of these words have a strict technical sense in linguistics, which wouldn't be understood by the majority of the population. . . .

Like this boy!

 

[Charlie Bernstein]

I really need offends there, not offended.

I want offends to rhyme with friends, and violence to rhyme with silence.

Okay. I didn't understand the sentence, and I didn't know it was poetry.

By the way, what do you call an ABAB rhyming pattern? Is there a better name than my rudimentary "ABAB"?

It is called ABAB, and it's also called alternate rhyme.

---

"When I first joined UE, I didn't know what to expect, but now I know it's a great place to be, and where my English, I can perfect."

---

It was a typo. I meant to write "friends".

My fingers are sloppy when I type,

Glad I'm not the only one!

but I assure I'm a prodigy at the piano.

I'm a stumble-bum on guitar.

Your English is good. Do strive for clarity.