I have written about organic farming

[alpacinou]

Hello everyone

I have written about organic farming in two paragraphs. I have some doubts about the underlined parts. I would appreciate your comments.


Chemical fertilizers that are used in non-organic farming can have a detrimental impact on both people and the environment. Organic products are bereft of chemical fertilizers. Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but it is also the right way to cultivate products from a health perspective.

On the other hand, it has been proven that organic farming methods are not cost-effective. Organic farming requires a larger piece of land and it is also water-intensive. Our country is located in an arid region of the world and is known to be water-stressed and cultivating in an organic way is not practical in this region.

I would really be grateful if you would tell me how I can make this better.

This is a formal writing.

 

[jutfrank]

bereft is not the right word.

 

[alpacinou]

bereft is not the right word.

Thanks.

Is that the only problem? Is the rest okay?

Why is bereft not correct? And what can I use instead?

 

[alpacinou]

And also, is this sentence correct?

Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but it is also the right way to cultivate products in terms of human health.

 

[emsr2d2]

[STRIKE]And[/STRIKE] Also, is this sentence correct?

Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but it is also the [STRIKE]right[/STRIKE] best way to cultivate [STRIKE]products[/STRIKE] produce [STRIKE]in terms of[/STRIKE] with regard to human health.

See above.

Things that are grown are not called "products". I have used "produce" (uncountable).

Please don't use "And also" - it's tautologous.

 

[alpacinou]

See above.

Things that are grown are not called "products". I have used "produce" (uncountable).

Please don't use "And also" - it's tautologous.

Can I use "crop" instead of "produce"? Could you kindly take a quick look at this?


Chemical fertilizers that are used in non-organic farming can have a detrimental impact on both people and the environment. Organic farmers do not use chemical fertilizers. Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but it is also the best way to cultivate crops in terms of

On the other hand, it has been proven that organic farming methods are not cost-effective. Organic farming requires a larger piece of land and it is also water-intensive. Our country is located in an arid region of the world and is known to be water-stressed and cultivating in an organic way is not practical in this region.

The reason I made "in terms of" red is that for some obscure reason I want to somehow use it in this context. How can I?

 

[emsr2d2]

Crop? No. Crops? Yes.

 

[alpacinou]

Crop? No. Crops? Yes.

Yes. I used crops.


Chemical fertilizers that are used in non-organic farming can have a detrimental impact on both people and the environment. Organic farmers do not use chemical fertilizers. Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but it is also the best way to cultivate crops in terms of

On the other hand, it has been proven that organic farming methods are not cost-effective. Organic farming requires a larger piece of land and it is also water-intensive. Our country is located in an arid region of the world and is known to be water-stressed and cultivating in an organic way is not practical in this region.


Could you please tell me how I can use "in terms of"?

 

[Tarheel]

Two things. One, I can't figure out why you insist on putting your text entirely in bold print. Two, you need to answer the question "In terms of what?"

 

[alpacinou]

In terms of being healthy or something like that.

Chemical fertilizers that are used in non-organic farming can have a detrimental impact on both people and the environment. Organic farmers do not use chemical fertilizers. Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but it is also the best way to cultivate crops in terms of being healthy for humans.


Is there no way I can use "in terms of"?

 

[tedmc]

I would say "cultivate crops which are healthy for human consumption".

 

[Tarheel]

In terms of being healthy or something like that.

Chemical fertilizers that are used in non-organic farming can have a detrimental impact on both people and the environment. Organic farmers do not use chemical fertilizers. Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but it is also the best way to cultivate crops in terms of being healthy for humans.


Is there no way I can use "in terms of"?

Perhaps:

in terms of human health

I don't like it much. (It seems forced.)

Perhaps:

Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but the produce from organic farms is better for you.

 

[alpacinou]

Are you suggesting that "in terms of" cannot be used in this context at all in a natural way?

Maybe you can help me rephrase some parts.

 

[Tarheel]

Are you suggesting that "in terms of" cannot be used in this context at all in a natural way?

Well, I haven't seen one I'm happy with, but in terms of human health is, I think, OK. My other suggestion is less formal and more conversational. I guess it depends on what kind of tone you're looking for.

 

[alpacinou]

So, this is the final draft:


Chemical fertilizers that are used in non-organic farming can have a detrimental impact on both people and the environment. Organic farmers do not use chemical fertilizers. Not only is organic farming eco-friendly, but it is also the best way to cultivate crops in terms of human health.
On the other hand, it has been proven that organic farming methods are not cost-effective. Organic farming requires a larger piece of land and it is also water-intensive. Our country is located in an arid region of the world and is known to be water-stressed and cultivating in an organic way is not practical in this region.

I would appreciate your final feedback.

 

[Tarheel]

I only have two suggestions. One, make that two paragraphs. (Space after human health.) Two, put a comma after water-stressed. (I would use farming instead of cultivating, but the original is OK.)

(My opinion.)